First off, I'm still alive and kicking, I've just been busy recently, and impossibly fucking lazy before that. It seems that having a lot of free time absolutely demolishes my motivation, so what I'm saying is that I will basically fall off the face of the Earth if I ever win the lottery or some shit.

Anyways, on the opinions of an ignorant uneducated jackass who isn't entirely sure if he's really entitled to a dog in this fight on account of his cock.

If you've been paying attention to video game news recently you've probably noticed a growing concern over the depiction of women (or womyn or females or whatever the individual involved wants to call themselves I don't really give a fuck) in video games. Things like the deadly nunsassins in the Hitman Absolution trailer, every word out of Dave Jaffe's mouth (seriously, maybe his publishers should invest in a muzzle), the E3 Tomb Raider trailer which was kind of rapey apperantly (I don't reall know because I haven't given a shit about Tomb Raider since the 90s) and most recently one of the Borderlands 2 devs calling the super easy mode "girlfriend mode' (in prectice the actual mode is called "best friends forever"). All of these things generated two waves of fury.

The first comes from the offended parties objecting to the objectification of women in the games, and the second wave coming from people who are basically straight up assholes foisting some bullshit about men's rights and how video games are a boys only club and how they are absolutely not secretly longing for another man to hold them in his arms and wisper sweet nothings, which I thought was an oddly specific denial, but there you go.

Anyways, not being in any way shape or form educated about feminist theory, I sit here having the following thought process: "Jesus, I indulge in a lot of fetishistic stuff basically for it's own sake. I guess I'm such a closet mysogynist that I didn't even know I was! But wait, if I understand the objections correctly it's the disengenuous and one sided nature of the objectification that bugs the various offended parties, I enjoy things that exploit everyone! Nudity for all I say, because I find women attractive and naked dudes funny... so I'm also secretly misandrist? Wait, how can I be both? Goddamit I remember when video games used to be fun and I didn't have to care about what some dickholster I'll never meet said and resolved to ignore the issue because I'm a stupid prick who will never influence anyone's thought process for better or worse. Hell I might not even be really sexist, just a pervert and I can live with that, quite happily as it turns out."

Then some time passes and because I haven't resolved the basic human need to pick a side my brain is still churning over the social problems it has no chance of actually comprehending, let alone actually formulating anything like a reasonable answer to.

I believe in a marketplace of ideas. I believe that good ideas drive out bad ideas in the end, however the only way for a good idea to drive out bad ideas is if you actually put them out there in the market place. See, screaming that someone is sexist isn't going to change their minds and it's only going to give ammunition to those totally not homoerotic assholes in the he man woman haters club.

So, self proclaimed feminists, I ask where are your ideas? It's a fairly valid question I think. Instead of saying "you can't have fetish nun assassins! Thats sexist!" which makes you sound like a screechy fun hating harpy, try saying "Why fetish nun assassins? Why not [insert idea here]? Because the fetish nun assassins kind of make me uncomfortable." To which the developer can say one of three things: 1.) "Well thats explained in the larger context of the game, whcich we cannot reveal because spoilers." 2.) "It's deliberately fetishistic to appeal to people who fantasize about fetish nun assassins." or 3.) "Hmm... I guess that can be taken the wrong way. Let me go have a word with our art department."

Of course theres always the fourth option, which Duke Nukem Forever took of just saying "Oh we put that in because we hate women, also I'm not gay, despite the large number of naked fireman posters in my office."

With option one I would say reserve judgement until the final product is here. With two, then if you're not comfortable with overt fetishism or just hate the thought of other people enjoying things you're not into, then you can skip the game with no real harm to anyone. With three, then hooray! Everyone wins, except us poor perverts. Won't someone think of the perverts? With option four the only reasonable response is honestly "holy shit you guys are some serious assholes! I hope your game fails and your house burns down you fucking cunt!" Then telling everyone you meet what a massive cunt guy number four is.

Again, you probably take all this with a grain of salt since I am, in fact, an idiot and kind of an asshole. And since no one has read all the way down here, let me close with a long stream of cursing.

Fuck shit ass fucking fuckercunts taint goddamn Islam meekrob cuntass motherfucker cat raping bitch whore santorum Romney Obama balls cock cunt cuntidy cunt I fucked your Dad.