So, when I was about to return to form, I ended up suddenly having a job. I've been too busy to do much else, which is depressing. I want to draw a lot.

So, let's talk romance. I've put myself out there to see what'll happen.
I've learned a lot about myself since then, understanding the INFP garbage and how it's unfortunately a good summary of who I am.

A misadventure includes a pretty fun encounter.
I recently made the mistake of trying to connect with an Andrew which only reinforced the idea that, 9/10 people with that name, really are just narcissistic assholes. Mistake was believing he'd be an outlier. I wasted a day I can't get back because of this one, so of course, I despise them... especially because of how shallow they were. First world hotness problems, I was wanted for my body. I've just begun socializing with two apps during my work hours, so it's kind of amusing. Most other interactions have been great and respectful.

I am naive, I'm not afraid to admit that, and that this encounter is a learning experience. I've always heard of these very red flags that I let my guard down on.

When we started chatting, he went on some initial spiel about wanting loyalty and honesty, complete with implied relationship problems that left him feeling the way he did. The first red flag.

So we meet up, it seems to go... interestingly... but then that's that, because the guy comes up with his own assumption that I lived alone, and felt awkward in regards to that. Like, you're in your 30's. When will you grow up? Who has the time to feel awkward over being with someone? I'm the type of person who is comfortable with anything because I stopped caring what people think. It's juvenile to let things like that get to you. If you can't find yourself comfortable with a person, then you're clearly the problem. No wonder why he's had a hard time getting interactions or meeting anyone. I've never felt such a strong genuine emotion, a raw regret born from having allowed myself to interact with someone like that. Kind of like an elitist "I can't believe I associated with the likes of that!"

It won't work out because you're shallow and only want what makes you happy.
You can't use my living situation to say it won't work out. People live so many different lives.
Living situation is among some of the most entitled nitpicks you can have, especially for an adult.

There's no US; it's just U.

I cannot drive, I just started a new job, and I even gave an address. Where the fuck in California would a single person own a house in 2022? The guy also told me about what he wants, and it's like, wow, we're a match! Turns out he's delusional, thinking that's what he wants when he just wants sex that affirms him. See, here's the thing... there's a reason he's still alone, and he's made it clear. He lives off of fantasy, not reality.

Meanwhile the reason I'm alone is vastly different; I have responsibilities at home. My living situation has literal scars on my body from surgeries, too. Really, have you helped your mother raise your niece because your "brother" is complete shit? Have you lost your father in that time? Your dog, your unreliable partner who loved you for so long? No? Have your life halted because of COVID closing down schools? No? Then fuck off.

I'm a straightforward person. If you ask, I can answer. I don't have much to hide; my answers only get murky now because I'm exhausted from the job's graveyard hours. It's not like I'm living in paradise in this house, you know. The job's not the only issue here.