Boy, this journal is going to read a lot differently now than I'd imagined a few days earlier. Fun, isn't it?

Alright, starting off with the big news - fortunately, I was not hurt or attacked myself. At the time of the attack, I was soundly asleep in my hotel room on the property. I was not in any Telegram channel related to the con (a mistake I won't repeat next time), so I remained blissfully unaware anything was going on... until my roommate and friend (Random) woke me up, taking about how the con was under attack.

So, everyone's asked the question to themselves. How would you react in a life or death situation? This past Sunday, I got to find out first hand. I misunderstood my friend and thought that shots had been fired. I spent the next 2-3 hours of my life awake, thinking there was a real chance I wouldn't live to see daylight. Told all my friends online what the situation was. I ended up texting my boyfriend about the situation, telling him that whatever happens, I'll always love him. Fortunately though, there were no guns involved. Just shitty hooligans punching people and spraying fire extinguishers at a party. Still, it was a fucking insane experience. Overnight, myself and about 300 other people became targets of an actual hate crime. I'm still shaken by the experience.

Originally, me and my roommate hoped to drive off at first light, but we ended up sticking around for the closing ceremony. Also said goodbye to a few friends I made at the con, which was nice. I'm happy to have gotten to close off the event on that note - even the morning after was a bit sour without that. Breakfast at the hotel, most attendees either did not show up or had hidden their badge. It felt strangely lonely. Wanted to go for a walk around the grounds one last time, but my roommate did not want me to do this on my own, for obvious reasons. I'm glad he was here with me for this trip. He made it a lot easier for me.

Now, I want to give full kudos to the security and staff of Goldenhorn - they did the absolute best all con, and their reaction to the attack could not have been better. They did the best they could with the situation caused by the resort's lax security: camera's lacking, the barrier couldn't stop 10 guys in all black from getting onto the property with E-scooters... not to mention the numerous holes in the fence around the property that anyone could've squeezed under. Also, they've already secured a new venue for next year, which is great! This was probably planned in advance, given that the venue this year was rather small for the number of attendees, not to mention the con doubling in size compared to last year. Still, I'm happy that we won't be dealing with similar issues again next year - should I get to attend again.

So, that's that... what else was I going to write about?

...

...Oh yeah, this being my first con.

For a first time attending a furcon, I had a pretty good time! Some highlights, some lowlights, but pretty good overall. I ended up making a few new friends, and now that I generally know how these things go, it should be easier to make more out of come the next time.

The positive

First off, I got a lot out of the different events. I liked the art panel hosted by Oggy123 a lot, as well as the Jackbox event, the snack exchange, and so on. There's plenty to do, even if the variety in events wasn't too high. That's just the small con experience, I guess. Still, plenty of fun there.

I also got to make new friends at the con, which was great! As someone new to the furry fandom, I'd love to get to know more people to spend time with - playing games, chatting, hugging, cuddling, because...

The negative (aside from the obvious)

...not going to lie, there were moments where the con could get pretty lonely. Most people come to these with existing friends, I wager - not a big surprise of course, but if you're only there knowing one person, it can get a bit othering. This happened a few times, especially on day one. It did improve a bit with time, however.

I once again got to learn how much my social anxiety and general shyness kills events for me - joining things, talking to people, it's all incredibly difficult, like your body is fighting you on every step of the way. There's no easy way to overcome it that isn't just saying 'fuck it' and taking the plunge, sadly. It does get better with friends... so, next time, I hope I can attend a con knowing more people there. Hopefully at least two, preferably more.

Oddly enough, the highlight of the con came after a low point. I was incredibly shy at the first dance in the convention barn. Stood in the corner, watched everyone dance (including my friend), and I just... felt like I didn't belong there. So I left into the night, walking around a bit... until my friend caught up with me, gave me a pep talk, and we went back in. Got to dance (see - jump around) with him and one of his friends (hello, Waffle!), and we ended up holding hands and jumping around in a circle. Others saw this, and started to join right in. A minute later, we had like 12 people in this big circle on the dance floor, jumping and laughing along. It was fantastic. Easily the best part of the con for me.

So yeah, that was Goldenhorn 2025 for me. I'm not going to let some shitty, homophobic football hooligans ruin it for me. I had a good time, and honestly? My decision to get more involved with this community is not one I regret at all. I genuinely enjoy it, and would happily go again - whether at Goldenhorn or closer to home. See you all at the next one!