Hey,

Going through a horrible amount of emotions, partner is numb of emotions. Guess how that's going, huh?
Right now I'm in the start of recovery, and I'm very fragile and alone. She's been having fun in life, and I can't catch up. I make everyone sad, and I'm really damn suicidal. I've already attempted 3 times this year, and I've got no ceiling lights anymore. I'm just really, really alone and I don't have any physical affection or reassurance. I'm broken and my partner can't help me anymore. I can't help myself if I'm too far gone, ygm. I'm just really upset and alone, and I'm breaking inside. This sounds all emo but it's just how I am right now. Can't stop crying and losing it. I have no one.. I feel like dying again, I'm sort of addicted to the feeling of my life leaving me, but the last times failed either from weak electrics or my body thrashed. I'm scared for it to fail, but I don't want to leave my partner even when they don't even seem to love me..

Fuck life basically..