Hey there friends, kameraden, colleagues and compatriots.

I hope I'm doing enough by you guys in keeping up with the commissions. I'll explain why it's only been paid work:

1.) I chose a maintenance position at my job instead of a retail one almost a year ago to-the-day. I work 5:30 am to 2 pm M-F... or rather I would but I'm covering for someone who's out and have no idea when or even if they'll be back. Since the end of January I've been getting up at 3am for a 4:30 to 2 shift. Sleep is already hard to come by, but I also have to get up at 11pm to move my work vehicle since I live with family who work 3rd shift.

2.) My usual routine after work is to decompress for a little bit, get changed and catch up on YouTube subscriptions/ other general things for an hour or two, and then I hit the treadmill and lift. I would like to eventually run a marathon, however right now I'm trying to manage consistent 5 Ks/ 10 Ks throughout the week. After the surgery over the summer I gained weight up to 240 pounds and have lost a majority of it, but I still have a few pounds to go until I'm back to the 190s and I would like to eventually reach my minimum healthy BMI/ Waist-to-height-ratio as I intended to do before I got laid up and had to pee in a bag for 2 months. So by the time I finish a workout and shower it's 6/7 o'clock and I'm well exhausted after already running around cleaning for the work day, so the possible 2 hours I have I'm usually just waiting to get sleepy. Last Saturday I slept around 20 hours because I sleep anywhere around 4-6 hours when working. So that leaves the weekend to get anything done, in between laundry and cleaning the house up. I'm not even going to mention what my IRL relationships ask of me because I'd get angry listing them.

3.) I know I have pieces I myself would like to do still and am working on little by little, but if somebody wants to pay me for my time I respect and honor that commitment. They could easily go to somebody else but instead they chose me, that means a lot and therefore their pieces mean a lot and will take precedent over work that ultimately I just have to make more time for if I want to see them done. And I do. But my health and wellbeing (including my finances) have to come first. Gotta stay alive to keep the lights on before I can utilize them if that makes sense.

TL;DR: There's not enough hours in the day, and if there were they'd likely have been stolen by a corporation already. I currently have a very full and heavy plate beyond creative endeavors, but I am trying to keep those creative bits off of it as I can.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Younger/ more depressed me would simply fuck off for years at a time and not even try. You and I deserve better than that. My art and music are what make me feel fulfilled and like I have a purpose, I refuse to let my best years physically only be reserved for income tax.