That didn't last long. Honestly, I didn't expect it to, not after being told that the neurosurgeon I had had multiple patients whose brain cancer returned sooner than it should have.

And all my current doctors on this are not on the same page. The ones at the cancer center look at the excision site and says it looks good. The new neurosurgeon does something to enhance the images. So the formers dismiss the latter. And now I'm back to having weird symptoms some months after seeing them all. There are inhibitors. I may have to get my head cracked open again. I'm already perpetually tired from radiation, my memory sucks, it comes with the territory.

I wonder why I care, I keep going back and forth between fighting it or not....given the state of...well....the States. Why? When cancer research is cut? When we had fools in charge of everything.

I'm trying to hang on, for now...I guess. Just to try and do some stuff to get my household into a better situation. But honestly....I'm just tired of this failed, fucked life. Tired of being trapped with not being able to make enough to keep insurance.

And I have a 900 and something bill because said insurance lapsed during my gallbladder. I can't even cry.