As some of you know, I have a diagnosis severe depression and have been registered disabled after a bunch of suicide attempts. I mention this again because I need to contextualise the rest of what's been going on so people can see how much more it might impact things. I've been barely active due to trying to keep my head above water and prevent slipping back into a suicidal mindset. It's important to add that I don't want to die, I think suicide is a selfish thing to do in most cases, but when depression hits hard, you're not thinking straight and that scares the shit out of me when I am outside of that state of mind. (This is not an attempt to grab sympathy btw, I have had to deal with so much of that recently already)

Here's the update:

At the start of this month the I was ordered to have a physical assessment for capability for work. I am by no means work shy but my current mental health status has left me in no condition to get back out there just yet. The current UK government seems to keep putting people with mental health issues through these assessments even though they are geared towards physical disability. This of course adds huge stress and can often set back any progress made in recovery. The disability they give you to live on is not even that much but they'd rather save money on that than actually collecting corporation tax correctly etc. This is why I hardly commission anyone any more and anything recent is actually either a gift from Mika or something ordered and paid for a while back.
While preparing for this exceptionally stressful bureaucratic shitstorm my mum fell ill. I rushed her to hospital and we found out that she had had a huge internal bleed, tests were done and she was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer. We all started dealing with that and all it may entail when my dad was then rushed to hospital himself due to a sudden attack of his multiple sclerosis. After a week of confusion as to why he had broken his shoulder by reaching up to get something from a shelf they did further tests. My dad was then diagnosed with prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. The bone cancer has started to cause his shoulder, hips and vertebrae to crumble. All this of course made the bureaucratic shit seem like nothing but never the less it's all happened at once in the space of about 3 weeks. Mum has a 50/50 chance of making 10 years and has to go through some scary operations, dad however is too far gone to operate, and with the added complications of his MS they can't do much other than try control it rather than cure it. His best case is that he makes it to two years but it's not likely. I have no idea what to feel or do right now but I know I am not gonna be all active again any time soon.