I'm not expecting any comments, but I don't want to disable them because it feels... Mean?

Anyways, I just felt an urge to talk about my late significant other and instead of talking to my usual friends and family, I thought it would be nice to share who she was to those who want to read this and at least get a glimpse into the wonderful person that chose to let me be one who shared her heart, her bed, and her life.

Though I do write a lot of fetish content, our relationship was heavily emotional. I'm demisexual so I have to build a very very very strong emotional bond with someone before sexual intimacy came in. We started as friends, then best friends for nearly two years before it just clicked that I was in love with her.
Turns out she was waiting for me and tried to be patient. She often told me it paid off because I never made her feel insecure about the reasons for dating.

Physically, she was short. More than a head shorter than me. Hair as brown as chocolate and eyes that reminded me of a bed of vibrant moss at the base of a big old oak in the woods. So, more green than brown in her eyes. She always feel like they looked like dirt but we visited where I grew up once and I showed her the forest in the country where I explored as a child. There was a vibrantly green and thick loam of moss coating every inch near the creeks. She cried when she finally understood how much of a complement I was trying to give her and finally stopped being detracting about her appearance as often.

She was very sensitive. Emotionally and physically. Petting and scratching her head after a long day was as rewarding for me as it was for her. She often kept her hair short so it was like petting a bunny. I told her as much and that more or less became her comparison to her delight. She loved bunnies. Especially Dutch and Welsh varieties.

She was also volatile. Now before anyone might think she was crazy or aggressive. It was more like her sensitive nature would make her angry or anxious easily. She didn't act on it like many others but she would grit her teeth, growl, and/or become "energetic" about trying to express it without hurting anyone.
The exception was if you crossed her in a way that violated her personal space, hurt a friend or someone she loved dearly. She became Karma when necessary. So anger was more of a tool to her rather than a toxic fuel that hurt others in collateral damage.
She did her best never to let her feelings cause actions to hurt those who did nothing to deserve it from her.

She was emotionally dependent and clingy, while also being physically starved often for cuddles and physical intimacy (didn't have to be sexual).
I honestly loved it because I had often been considered clingy in previous relationships and it was misconstrued as me trying to get in my then partner's pants. I just love to cuddle with no strings attached and so did she.
We sometimes would put the TV on, order pizza, cuddle under a blanket, and that was the entire day and we were happy for it. My fingers and would be sore because it sometimes happened that I would pet her head for hours and not realize. No complaints. I loved putting her in a relaxed state where she'd make these cute cooing noises and nuzzle me under the chin while demanding I feed her a slice of pizza.

Even though she was short, she had a lot of plush. Not the kind where one was in excess of weight. Basically, she had a few hormonal issues that meant she had stunted development in height but thick thighs and a thin waist. Her hips weren't large but the thighs in contrast to her waist have this illusion she did. After we started dating, she had a major hormonal imbalance that caused growth she felt pretty insecure about. She gained a lot of healthy curves that apparently (according to her doctor at the time) she skipped over in her teens. Turns out she had pituitary issues that both inhibited her growth and often overcompensated later in life. I only mention this as an example of the scope but her bra size was B cup for as long as I knew her into the first year or two into our relationship. Then suddenly she went from B to H over 18 months. She didn't gain any real weight that would've accomplished that elsewhere. It was mainly just thighs and breasts.

Considering she was nowhere near used to having that, she was very cute when I complimented those parts of her. The best term I can use is Tsundere. She loved the compliment but didn't know how to respond to it so she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. Very grumpy. Cute but grumpy.

Often, I would make dumb puns or dad jokes and she'd give me the middle finger or tell me "F@$& you!"
I'd respond with "I love you too" and usually she would blush and short circuit while trying to come up with a comeback.
I think sometimes she said that knowing I wouldn't take insult to it and expected me to show her affection in contrast. I would call her out on it, which would make her adorably flustered.

She was so kind and compassionate too. Hugs and telling each other "I love you" in every way spoken was done dozens of times a day. We would often apologize to each other for saying it within two minutes of just having said it.
Usually, (she said it first and we just both used it) our reply to the other was that we should never apologize for having thought of the other and felt the urge to express our love, no matter how often it happens. Better too often than too little.

We almost never argued. The times we actually got into what could be consider a "heated" argument was probably only twice. Once because we moved and I was get disassociated to the process, making her do more work on accident. She called me out and I corrected myself. The second was me trying to stop her from giving money to what I thought was a scam. It was but I had to acquiesce that it was her money and if it turned out that way, she'd have to figure that out. This was early on and we were financially independent from one another so thankfully not the end of the world then. But she promised after to be more cautious.
Suffice it to say we were very communicative. We loved talking to each other. We didn't have everything in common but that mattered little. Example, she loved rap music and I detest it. She was kind enough to not blast it but I didn't make her never listen to it while I was around. I developed some very rare exceptions and turns out I like Eminem well enough. Lol.

She loved dressing in very large and comfy clothes. I didn't really wear hoodies but she would buy them for me and then take them for herself. It was rather cute. She'd walk around the house on a fall day and wear a hoodie that was a men's XXL (not my size but with hoodies it's better to go bigger in both our opinions). The thing was like she was wearing a mini tent.
I guess I had a lot to do with helping her self esteem and body confidence because she never wore things that showed off her curves before we dated. After a couple years of dating, she loved putting on anything that showed off her thighs, which I was obsessed with. I didn't realize for a while how much my little random compliments and affections helped her in that regard but she told me in our later years dating/engaged/married that I was almost solely responsible for helping her love herself, in both body and soul.

I don't feel like I did that much but I know it's not always about the big things you say but all the little things you say and do. I would often lie in her lap and stroke her thighs while telling her she was soft. We'd rest our forehead on each other and gaze into each other's eyes while I commented on how much beautiful green was in hers.
There was even this one time I think I broke her. We were having a fun time talking and throwing quips at one another. She told me jokingly to "kiss my ass". I literally did that and neither of us could stop laughing for a few minutes.

I've kinda lost my stream of thought on this so I'll post and maybe continue another time. Thank you for taking the time to read this.