First off: NO, you drug addicted people! Not those mushrooms!

This actually happened years ago but the story is too stupid for me not to post so I'm finally getting around to it. Yay, go me!...Anyways.

We just got new tile at our house. I don't know why, it's dangerous for socks and fucking FREEZING in the winter. But whatever, we have it and I guess it looks nice. But my parents are obsessed with it. You can't walk on it without my mom going "BE CAREFUL NOT TO MESS UP THE TILE!!" Oy.

I forget why but I went to get something out of the pantry. Probably a Rice Krispies treat because those things are the shit. But there was a jar of mushrooms sitting on the edge of the shelf, I accidentally knocked it, crash bang smash, glass goes everywhere. Unlucky me wasn't wearing any shoes so I have fungus covered glass shard embedded in my foot now and my mom comes running into the kitchen to see what happened. Now, you'd think that if you saw your daughter surrounded by glass and mushrooms with blood dripping from her foot that you would be worried, right? Well, she was worried...about the fucking TILE!! Seriously, I can't make this shit up. She looked right at me and went "YOU'RE BLEEDING ON THE TILE! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN IT!!"

............................SERIOUSLY?! Oh, sorry mom. Let me hobble off and bleed somewhere else then. How about on your pretty new white sheets. >:C

Needless to say, the tile was fine, I have six scars on the bottom of my foot and I now loathe mushrooms with a passion.