Okay, so. A lot of bad shit has happened. Most of the people who know me have a general idea of how fucked up my situation is.

Without going into a lot of detail, this is the gist of it: I am under a guardianship, so I have no legal rights, and I am under Missouri Department of Mental Health "care" so my guardian can enforce some really awful things to deny me autonomy and cut me off from communication. The thing is, I am not actually disabled, and I am probably more capable of taking care of myself than most people are. I won't go into all the circumstances here.

In May of 2015, I was admitted into a local psych ward under false pretenses. The company which had been providing me "support" wanted me gone because I was becoming an expensive liability to them for reasons that were mainly their fault.

I woke up one morning and there were two police officers in my bedroom. They told me I was being taken in for evaluation, but not why. When I got to the hospital, I initially was not told anything about why I was there, and when people finally started telling me, I got multiple contradictory stories that had never happened and made no sense.

I was held there for some time, and when I was released I had nowhere to go because the company which had provided my living situation had dismissed me from their care. I was sent to a living facility elsewhere in the state, where I lived in complete isolation and received persistent demeaning treatment, including explosive outbursts and threats of physical harm by staff.

Months later, I believe in October of '15, I was finally returned to my home city under the care of a new company. However, my guardian suddenly became much more strict, cutting me off from internet access completely, taking away my cell phone, and insisting that any phone conversation I have be supervised.

This is the situation I live in. I am under constant supervision with no privacy, no autonomy, no say over anything that goes on in my life. I am only able to get online now secretly, in the midst of about the only gap in supervision I get, using wi-fi at the gym. As well, I am only able to get online using my 3DS, which is completely incompatible with most means of communication.

This is why I have been gone, and there is no telling how much longer these limitations will be a problem. I keep fighting for my freedom, fighting for my basic rights, but progress may be slow and it has not gone well so far,

I would appreciate any support that anyone might be willing to give me- Regardless, this journal is here to let everyone know what's going on.

I hope everyone else is doing better than I am.