I will no longer be using this account.

Why? Because I have no need for it.

When I first discovered that I was interested in babyfur and DL stuff, I was confused. Of course, that's a normal reaction. It is strange. I worried about the stigma, so I made this account. And then I found that there was a whole community out there...these people seemed very nice. There was a closeness I saw that was nowhere else. I wanted that. Going through most of your life literally friend-less makes it seem very appealing. I thought that maybe, I could be apart of the community too.

I was stupid to believe that was possible. There's no room in here for me. I end here the same way that I began. With nobody. By that, I mean this account...because I've met caring people through my other account.

Everyone else has a close, tight knit group of friends, who are like their family. I seem to be the only one without that...I thought that maybe, my interest in this subject would help me be a part of that. I couldn't be more wrong. Not that I haven't met nice babyfurs, I have...there were several that I talked to, oh maybe 3 times before they dissappear? I know in some cases I'm not blameless...because I have anxiety problems so it's hard for me to talk to someone first. I apologise to the one of you who I did that do. There are also others who seemed to have changed their messenger names, told others, but did not tell me. I know I did not do anything to wrong them either. They say they are kind to everyone and want friends, but if that was the case, they wouldn't have done that.

How come when a newcomer comes along, and a certain someone meets them, they are introduced to others by them? How come they get a special journal letting people know they exist? How come I never got that?

I've drawn pictures and attended streams in hopes to make friends. That didn't work. Not that they weren't appricated or anything...just, I thought maybe it would make people want to be my friend...

Does no one care simply because I'm shy? That I'm not like other babyfurs that seem to be all cuddles all the time? Is it because I'm female?

There was one kindhearted babyfur that I have talked to on a regular basis. But I did not meet them through this account.

I know this sounds whiny. I just needed to get it all out, I've been feeling this way for quite some time, even before I got sick. In case anyone actually cares, I've been feeling quite ill for about 2 months now...I've also developed double vision, which makes it pretty much impossible to see anything unless it's close up or without closing one eye. My life has been severely limited due to that and the chronic fatigue I've been feeling. I've been to doctors but no one can tell me what's wrong with me. That along with other personal things has led me to "regress" in a bad way, as I've spiraled into depression again, something I've been battling with since childhood. But I don't want any pats on the head or hugs. I doubt anyone will read this anyway. I'm not writing this for attention, I'm not going to come back in a few days. I am serious.

I'm not leaving FA though. I will still be on my main account:  aurathewolf Though most likely not very actively for a while. I may re-watch some people I have watched here, and I most likely will post whatever I would've posted here over there eventually. I just wanted to let people know what was up, if there was anyone who cared in the first place...because it would probably be rude to just up and leave without an explaination. I apologize to those who I said I might possibly do art for...I'm just not up to it anymore...


Tl;dr: Will no longer be on this account due to feeling unwanted. Depressed and having medical issues. Will still be on main account. The end.