For at least 3 years now since the start of 2023 after losing my 1st job, I've felt out of place within myself and especially my body. Well, at some point early last year I had came to the conclusion that throughout years of being in the fandom and mingling with different furs and regular folk, I am a transgender woman.

I'm not one to make these sorts of coming out posts, and whilst I have vibed with the non-binary label since I was like 18, I knew since I was a kid I felt different, and by the time i was 15, I had started to experiment with nail polish, some light makeup and unisex clothing (only had one skirt in terms of femme clothing) yet I knew then I wasn't male (least traditionally at the time)

HRT to me then felt out of reach thinking I wouldn't get access to it, or at least I wanted to wait until I was older when it was more easier to get ahold of, as well as thinking transgenderism would be more commonly accepted and understood. Though things in the western political landscape outside my country of Australia have kind of gone to shit, I can safely say I am proud to be transgender and have been on HRT a little over 9 months now. Since the end of May of last year.

I won't go on much about the effects, but I'll say it's made me feel more confident and outgoing, and (of course) comfortable in my own skin being in a body I should've been given at birth, but nature had other plans. I still got a long way to go, and whilst it's also helped me with coming to terms with some past traumas I either didn't realize I had or hadn't fully come to terms with, so far I've been at my most happiest since I was probably in my early 20s, just before lockdown years zapped a lot of our time management, social skills etc.

Now, I don't know if I'll make a new account yet or keep this old one since I cherish some old art and memories here, yet I also feel my main bunsona I've had for years, represents an old me I've practically outgrown and moved on from throughout the years slowly. It reminds me of certain aspects of myself I don't really like now from personality traits to the design. I thought at this point in the fandom I would've found my place and friend group, and whilst I am only JUST starting to go to some trans events, I have been questioning my place here if the furry fandom is still for me, or if I should just make a new sona which, I know I could def never make my bunny the opposite sex. As much some people still like my rabbit sona and their design, I've been really wanting to make a completely new sona now that I'm living the life I've wanted since i was a kid. I also still question my own artistic endeavours here and whilst, I never wanted to really be anything besides either a fursuit content creator or a writer, I'm still taking plenty of time to myself to find myself in terms of that stuff yet. (Long story short) I had also developed adult ADHD in those lockdown years and only got a proper diagnosis and medication in like 2022.

I don't know how many will see this and if you've stayed until the end, thank you, these sorta things ain't exactly easy for me to type. (Or at least I'm not really much for long venty-esque posts like this) Though this journal is mostly for myself to look back on and get things off my chest. Anyone who misses me and wants to reconnect, feel free to hit me up, i feel bad I've sorta ghosted most people since the lockdown years due to the hell above i mentioned. But I'm glad to be here and still standing, and happy to reconnect with anyone who still miss me or just wonder where I've been outside of the stuff I've talked about.

Thanks to anyone who's still been with me throughout the years and have been as caring and understanding knowing I've honestly struggled with anxiety my whole life and, this fandom combined with my recent life changes have def eased a lot of it over the years. <3 For anyone who's curious, I currently go by Avery and my pronouns are she/her and they/them. ^_^