After leaving Twitter/BlueSky and writing the previous journal expressing my personal issues with the social mediums, I had a few friendos reach out and seeing if I was doing okay. Which I am and I'm grateful to have you lot checking up on me like that. Really helped me out in terms of knowing that I wasn't forgettable as my mind kept tricking me that I was. ^u^; 💜

After leaving those sites, I do still feel rather alone in terms of trying to socialize with others as well as just being apart of off hand conversations that I could partake into (Since Twitter now has the "Only X people can reply back" functionality which is fine by me. Just don't show that tweet/post within my timeline if that is the case! <_< 💢). So currently, I'm trying to resolve this by being more active in Discord and Telegram groups that I'm in. As well as reaching out to people here through notes (feels like a cursed thing to do. <u>;) in order to open up to people I wanna try and chat with. Just to see if I can continue meeting new peeps whenever possible and keeping up with others whenever they are online.

It's been rather rough thus far and I do have some levels of doubt on where my mind. Mainly to believe that there are people that I've talked to in the past that ultimately hate who I am and will avoid talking to me all together. I know I shouldn't think as such, but those intrusive thoughts often cause me to go silent at times. It's a curse of thinking too much when I have nothing to do really nor a distraction like drawing or video games to help me avoid that all together.

However, I am doing good on avoiding those sites and I probably won't be on them again unless I can build a good art style to show off to other people. Then bail from those sites just to do other things that I wanna do. Which ever that way of creativity maybe which will probably take 1 to 2 years to develop if I am being honest with myself. But thus far, I'm glad I don't have to see a bunch of toxic crap on those sites nor getting very jealous of people that I shouldn't be envious at. I do get it here every now and then, but not to the extremes that Twitter and BlueSky can immediately do when you doom scroll for a long while.

=u=