So my life is INSANE. In the past two months I've moved three times, lost my full time job, bought a car, bounced a check, and now I guess I'm a teacher?

My apologies for neglecting my furry bretheren! I'm once again without internet and looking to pull up stakes. San Fransisco is calling my name and I have to answer. I'm a maker/educator/artist and the scene here is kinda dead. I'm actually making more money commuting to Marin county and lyfting/doing odd jobs than I did making an honest living here in Santa Rosa.

When I came here two years ago my brain was fried from Pittsburgh's debacle and I was ready to hide from my community and hide from the world. I was ready to quit my wire weaving and become nothing, to die really. My art and my community was all I ever cared and ever will care about. Leaving the fandom behind and working shitty jobs, living in SLEs, and surrendering to my mental illness has, unsurprisingly, been a TERRIBLE idea and I'm not sure why I did it. It's a dark and dangerous place we wander when we abandon our dreams. I don't want to live without my community anymore.

The furry fandom is the only family I've ever genuinely cared about. My folks are alcoholics and addicts, failures and losers who sacrificed their passions to make a living and became bitter, twisted versions of dreamers. The fandom, on the other hand, has not only supported me and my vision but has helped to celebrate and elevate it beyond the manic day dreams of a loner living in attics, weaving wire for the hungry hoardes of etsy buyers in Dubai. You guys have shown me what real community and love is, what self worth and pride and happiness is, beyond what money and security gets us. MY only regret is resisting the call for so long. I feel like I have a lot to atone for for the way I treated furs in my past as an internet troll.

How can I possibly give back? How can I give you guys what you've given me? It's impossible. I wish I had two pennies to rub together to pay for internet access so I could stream again. I'm sick of living on couches, eating ramen, and living like an animal. I want to go to conventions again. I want to go to weekly furry events, draw badges, and be a proud and productive member of this fandom. I want to give away art and share everything I have to give you guys. I want my fandom back.

So my sights are set on a big city again. From the ashes of this burnout, I'll rise stronger and smarter. I'm currently teaching afterschool classes in Kentfield and I've been doing things around Marin. Once I land a room there, the streams will start again. As God as my witness, I will rebuild my glowing empire with all of you by my side. Together we can make something really special, something artistic, something lasting, and damn the haters. You're the only ones who ever mattered to me.

Enjoy BLFC and I'll see you next year or may God strike me down.