Hello everyone and thank you for bearing with me over these past couple of years of silence especially after the last set of updates were... concerning, and to put everyone at ease I am doing slightly better now!
That last update was after a spike of depression and joblessness that lasted an uncomfortably long amount of time leading to some pretty overwhelming feelings of despair. For the last two to three years I have been battling this overwhelming anxiety and failure after failure after failure. Yet despite all of that there have been some small victories. For instance I am still able to type and upload this which means I still have a roof over my head and access to the internet and a computer which is something I don't take for granted, and I did in fact find a job. The job in question sucks and is not remotely what I studied for, but it is a small income stream which is a LOT better than nothing at all. However all of this is to say that despite everything that I am for all intensive purposes... fine, things do still suck but I haven't been wiped out by any major crises (at least not yet,) and I been given a means to start pushing back slowly but surely.

Now that I filled you all in on that let's get to the present and future stuff. For the last year or so I have made it my mission to get out of the crummy job I have now into a job where I can actually live independently and grow myself beyond just surviving. This job search has been one of the worst experiences ever, and it has led to some of the 'overwhelming anxiety' I alluded to earlier and a few more unpleasant feelings. I would say that my time was split between job, stuff you need to do to survive, anxiety management, and job searching, applications, resume tweaks, and all sorts of other nonsense related to the onerous job search. Then in 2024 a certain somebody got elected to the highest office of government in my country (USA). Ever since then there has been job and project cuts resulting in an even more competitive job market because of the D.O.G.E, and now there is news that these tariffs threaten to lead to a global recession which is... so great. (not really!) All is to say that navigating the job market went from absurdly difficult to basically impossible. So in response to that I am saying screw the job market (for now at least) lets see if there is something I can do that is a bit more productive. Turns out there is something I can do, I can use my abilities as a creator to make my first independent art series since leaving college (It was called SCAD for all those curious). With the fact that I am now making money from this job, and the fact that at the end of this month (May) I will have completed 27 years around the sun. I will be able to finally get all of the tools I need without being bogged down with the cost and time investment of trying to find a new job.

So this series is going to be called 'a dragons grief' and is thus going to be split into five separate pieces each one representing a different stage of grief. My medium is mainly 3d digital art, and although it is mostly going to be a 'normie' collection, this is like one of the only communities that has actually not made me feel like I have been losing my mind these past couple of years I am letting you guys get the first sneak peek as a kind of thank you. This is going to be kind of a 'portfolio piece' but in all honesty I am not doing it for formal reasons, I am mainly going to be doing it for the sake of unclogging a lot of the emotional baggage that I've got stored up, and airing my grievances about all of the BS that has been forced upon me and making sense of all of it. One of the core components of this project is I am going to do a better job of maintaining all of my current socials and adding new ones. So my first step is to post this journal, and to come up with a new profile layout for this page considering the old one was like seven years old now. I am also going to be sending this out to all of the discord channels that will actually read this so if you are from the discord channels or you're someone who saw this from FA then by all means drop a comment or say hello I will do my best to respond in a timely manner!