I am working on something big.

I am afraid I won't tell you what this is yet I'm afraid, but I might be posting some of my thoughts and learning about love here in the future. I hope some of you may take solace in what I have to say. I know many in this community believe themselves to be "fucked up". To those people I say: there is nothing wrong with you. You are just a victim of the oppressive system which I am trying to fix. You are beautiful in your own way. Discuss with a professional about stopping taking whatever medication and therapy you are on, and go out into the world doing your best to love all the other people who are suffering. They will love you back for it.

Almost everyone is suffering; we all need each others' support. The only madness you are under is trying to get through this life on your own. No one is strong enough to do that. Get support of people who love you. Search the world for them, they are literally everywhere: gyms, religious buildings, cafes, forests... There is no place we can't go. Just go to a space you feel comfortable existing in and approach someone. They will be a lot like you, you both came to the same place you like. You just have to start the connection. Try a line like "Don't you think we should all talk to each other more? I'm trying to get through the struggle myself". Come up with your own way. It can be to anyone at all. Talk about your problems. Empathize. They'll know what you're talking about. But your number one goal is to find out something good or beautiful about that person. When you find that thing you will love them. Understand them. By loving someone else you will be healed.

Love is not sexual thing most of the time; in any case sex should come much later if you have chemistry. And there is nothing you can do about chemistry; it's a law of nature, so don't worry about it, other than learn to love more kinds of people. Keep trying other people in the spaces you like to visit. Eventually you will become very good at loving people very quickly, even with people who might seem difficult to love at first.

Good luck. I believe in you. I love you and I know you can do it.

Relief is coming soon.