I've just seen something that absolutely galls me. I'm going to leave out names only because I think one person in particular wouldn't want it out there, and I think they wouldn't want their name out there because they'd be worried about it coming back to the people who are treating my friend like crap. That's the kind of person my friend is; actually caring about the people abusing him.

Let me tell you about my friend. He's someone whom I don't always see eye-to-eye with, but whom I both value and respect. He's honest, but also tactful and considerate of other people's feelings. That's a very rare combination that we should encourage more. My friend expressed some views on Discord recently that didn't go over well with the community. My friend actually reached out and tried to make amends, wanting to know exactly what it was that said community took issue with so he could avoid making the same mistake. But instead of receiving an explanation, he was shunned. So he made a journal post on here just recently, talking about his troubles. He didn't name names, he didn't drop hints, he wasn't fishing for sympathy. He was trying to let people know that for people like him to avoid saying things that some might find offensive, people like him need to know what it is they've said that's struck a nerve, and getting shut out doesn't help them.

That journal post is no longer up, because apparently he was contacted by the people who got offended and told to take it down.

I'm just going to come right out and say it.

I don't think my friend is at fault.

It's unreasonable for people to expect someone to be a mind reader and know what's going to offend people before they've even told.

It's unreasonable for people to expect someone to figure out why they're so upset with no explanation.

It's unreasonable for people to punish someone for things they did completely unaware. If the person in question expressed no concern or expressed complete disregard after finding out they'd unknowingly irritated, insulted, or angered others, that would be different. But that's not what my friend did; he was apologetic, he wanted to avoid doing it again. That makes a world of difference.

I think, from what I could glean, my friend has been targeted by people who *want* to be the victims so they can keep getting sympathy from those who put minorities on a pedestal and applaud them just for the act of existing, because certain fringe groups are in the habit of treating said minorities like the very act of existing is an accomplishment. So said fringe minorities go out of their way to take offense and make sure there are as many opportunities as possible to get offended so they can keep displaying their badge of victim-hood like it's something for which they should be proud. It makes me sick that somebody like my friend, who clearly actually gives a damn about how he makes people feel with what he says, is being painted like he's the oppressor, the aggressor, the insensitive one going out of his way to harass others when nothing could be further from the truth.

I know where I stand in this community. I know that I'm not popular, that I'm mostly just tolerated, that my views, my opinions, aren't popular and aren't the majority, but that I've managed to navigate the minefield up to this point without hitting an explosive by keeping my mouth largely shut in the public space for the last several years. But at this point I feel like I don't have much to lose. I'm already disliked by the majority in this community, so while my friend feels the need to keep the peace and be mindful to the people that treat him like this, to that I say....NO. You people, and you probably know who you are, kicked somebody I care about while they're down. I'm not going to be silent about it. I don't have names but I can still express myself, and I'm NOT going to just keep my head down and look the other way while my friend gets metaphorical rocks thrown at them from people content to hide in the metaphorical crowd.

You people that had the gall to not only refuse to explain to my friend why you got so bent out of shape at him, but to tell him not to tell anybody else about how you're treating him, are self-centered cretins with brittle egos and a need to have somebody to point at and call your oppressor so you can continue your "woe is me/us" narrative and keep getting showered with applause while people like my friend get berated for treading on a nerve YOU concealed like a hunter conceals a snare trap. My friend does NOT deserve to feel guilty for making attention-seeking assholes like you get pissy; especially when you won't even give my friend the common courtesy of an explanation.

People like you are leeches and addicts for sympathy. You want to constantly bask in others going "oh you poor baby", "aren't you brave for carrying on when you're so oppressed," and so on and so forth. And then when there's a chance people might realize just how much your need to have a boogeyman leads to fucking witch hunts like this, how much you hurt people like my friend, you AGAIN use your victimhood like a weapon to guilt my friend into silence so you can keep hiding your emotionally abusive and manipulative tactics behind closed doors. Your selfishness and mistreatment of those who actually give a damn like my friend is DISGUSTING. I'd say you should be ashamed of yourselves but I doubt you have the capacity to feel shame, just an endless need for sympathy and coddling; you're grown-up spoiled brats who turn on the waterworks whenever something doesn't go your way.

You want to throw shade at me for saying this? Fine, do it. To quote Tony Montana, "people like you need people like me, so you can point your fucking fingers and say 'that's the bad guy.'" that line is shockingly relevant in situations like this, which are disturbingly frequent nowadays. So if I'm damned for saying something like this, for speaking out against this sort of behavior, particularly against people I actually care about, then take your Best. Fucking. Shot. Assholes.