i've never been the best artist in the world. but i had come to a point where i was finally reasonably happy with what i was doing, and people seemed to appreciate that. needless to say, i was happy then since i could finally put something on the table and say i was proud of it.

that being said, as you may have noticed, it's been dead around here. people with creative personalities might understand this, so i'm just kinda going to lay it all out on the table. sometimes people just hit a wall, i hit mine. whether it be due to lack of inspiration, or time. it really doesn't matter because the results are the same, and the galleries get quiet. i want to draw, commune, and write and all that rot, but it's hard for me because i know that with all this time passing i'm out of practice, and what i put out isn't going to be as good as what it had been.

i've been sick as some people know. nothing life threatening or anything but i do tire easily. with a full time job, when i come home all i want to do is sleep it all off. my pause began out of depression, family issues, a bad relationship and eventual break up, it all just kinda went into a melting pot of horrible. i'm sorry if this is boring people... it takes it's toll on your self-esteem and your overall desire to do the things you love. so i went quiet and put more work into another hobby rather than this. something that i can do mindlessly.

i cosplay quite a bit, and unlike art or writing, working on costumes doesn't involve feelings. i've always found reading an escape, but never writing. writing and art are hard for me when i'm upset, because i get more upset and frustrated when things don't turn out.

since then i have gotten over all the bugs that had been nagging at me before. i got over the boy, and the family issues resolved for the most part. i'm still sick, but there's nothing i can do but try and take care of myself. so i suppose then, why would i still not be updating? i'll update when i have something i can be proud of... i worry that what i put out now is going to backstep. so i've been avoiding the work of getting my skills back up to where they were...

love you guys, and i will come back. i promise