Any other artists, particularly musicians, struggle with feeling like their work is derivative and unoriginal? Most of the time when I start writing music, I realize partway through that it sounds just like something else I've heard before, just... worse. I mean, sometimes I have moments of originality, but most of the time I can't help but feel like I don't have a single creative bone in my body, and that I'm only drawing upon and, in a sense, remixing music I've heard somewhere else before.

I used to enjoy coming up with new chord progressions and melodies, but when I listen to my older stuff compared to what I've written recently, I feel like I've become less and less creative as time goes on. Like, somewhere along the way I lost the ability to come up with new ideas and I'm just stuck using the same ones over and over.

I mean, I've always been a performer, not a composer, and maybe this is why. Even so, I really want to enjoy writing music, but this mindset -- and that's probably all it is, really -- is crushing my desire to do ANYTHING creative. It's really depressing and I would probably just give up if I still had another musical outlet, but performers, especially wind players, aren't exactly in high demand during this pandemic. So for now, writing music is all I've got.

Ah well, nothin' to do but keep trying, I guess.