i'm just venting some frustrations curently, you dont need to read this but if you do thanks. i was seeing this guy, he made me laugh he knew how to make me smile when i was crying he treated me like i was the most important human on the planet he called me beautiful (being gender fluid he said i was beautiful in my dresses too. thats a biggy for me), two, maybe three days ago. he crushed me, i found out he had been seeing this other guy befor he met me, he ripped my heart from my chest, i felt like i had no where to go but down, into the depths. i'm angry i'm deppressed my eyes are all red and puffy from crying, he says he still loves me and cares about me and that every thing he said was true, but how can i belive that... i want to hate him, want to find him kick him in his stupid fucking head, push him into the dirt, beat him, and walk over his body grinding my shoes into his body, i want to scream and yell at him. i cant do any of this cuase i loved him so much, i dont want to hurt him. i hate all this and at this point of wrighting (6:44 AM) i feel so lonely. he was supposed to be my knight in shinning armour my prince charming, he was my boo bear, my rock, the tree that shaded me from the bad things, he was my star. but as of now, i've given up ever meeting my knight or my prince charming, i've given up on love, on ever finding someone who will hold me while i cry and say everything will be ok who will want to keep me forever. i just.... i need someone to talk me down, everyone says im better off without him, or that hes a dick, but i cant see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. sorry this is so wierd i just needed to vent.