In times past, I joined this place. In the end, I find I never truly belonged. I know now that if I stay, I will never know real joy or peace. Is it the fandom’s fault, or is it mine? Perhaps both. Perhaps neither. In the end, it hardly matters. There is no place for me here.

If I am to know any degree of joy or respite, I must leave. The liminality of drifting within and outside of the fandom torments and exhausts me. And because I am unwelcome and avoided here, there was only ever one option: to go. Thus, cast out with solemn and callous indifference, I realize that if I am ever to find happiness, I must search elsewhere.

I have removed most of my submissions, leaving only two that mattered most to me. I have also unfavorited and unwatched many works — not out of malice, but from heartbreak, and to make my passing easier.

The only comfort I have left is the knowledge that I will be forgotten, largely abandoned by a community that always wanted something from me, but it was never my friendship. Save for a few good souls to whom I feel indebted in ways I can never truly repay. What few friends remain are with me elsewhere — people who cared, in their own quiet ways, and made this mournful life more bearable.

For the rest, this is one last goodbye. I hope you find the joy, the comfort, and the community that I could not. If you had ever wished to be closer, to be my friend, to keep in touch — that time has now passed. And for that, I apologize.

Take care. Goodbye. And God bless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfRKomTjYl0