Ever wake up waaayyy before you're ready to start your day, because a) you're so hard, it physically hurts and b) your bladder is about to explode? I got up, opened the back door in our kitchen and pissed all over the patio like an absolute animal, and I wish I had the words to adequately describe the sheer fun and sensation of it all.

I work in the game industry on occasion and write stuff for RPGs, which is why my dialogue is often more like a video game than, I dunno, smut. One of my friends, who wrote for a massive, really popular cRPG was hired because of his smut. Wish I had more work. I miss food.