Well, I'm still alive somehow. Despite how shit the year has been, I'm finally out of one terrible headspace for good. Unfortunately that doesn't mean I'm coming back in full swing immediately. There's been some things I've wanted to get off my chest that I just couldn't bother to bring up because of having other shit to deal with.

I don't have new things to share still. I'm sorry about that. I'm still unemployed and trying to get any sort of job just to have SOME income to help pay for things my partner and I need. There are a few commissions I could share but just don't have the energy or want to yet because it essentially is a jump from shortstack female Zangoose to a tall gender-fluid demon cat with a penis. I personally would like to have a bit more to share than the only three images I have of my new sona.

The biggest thing I want to address now is a handful of stories that I had deleted, most notably "A Party to Die For." It was one of the few pieces I would get messaged about for obvious reasons.

"Did they actually die???" "Are you still using these characters?" "Is this snuff??"

I didn't answer back to any of those notes because I wasn't too happy to want to dwell on a story that I wrote over seven years ago, nor was I happy about a story with a very open-ending being presumed to have only a bad end. I purposely had omitted what happened to the characters after they explode so it could be left to the reader's imagination, since the story was never even tagged as permapop. The characters were also just one-offs because I didn't have ideas to write with my own characters or any friends that I was writing the story for. It was a personal piece that I wanted to share as a start for something. I got to a point though where I was just done with people DM'ing me making sure these characters were still "alive" or asking what happens after the ending that I just felt like the easiest way to deal with it was deleting it altogether. I'm sorry for anyone that did genuinely enjoy the story, but it was something I needed to do to keep myself sane in one of my darkest times.

I know I had previously removed some alts of stories before I removed that story, and it's pretty much the same deal. Despite both alts clearly stating permapopping I was still being bothered about "omgzzz didz they die??" What did they expect me to say? "Yes, my sona that was featured in a permapop story I wrote back in 2016 is "dead" and the character that I used for years and years after is a different Zangoose sona I made after they popped." It's literally just a concept. I don't see these people flocking to hardvore or permavore and harassing them about "you killed them!!!" Even on images or stories that aren't stated as permapop yet still have popping do I see people bitch and moan about how they're "dead." I, and a handful of others, have viewed popping as a euphemism for climax/orgasm, not as a euphemism for death. If you're going around harassing users because they like something as simple as a character turning into a balloon and popping for the millionth time, you're the problem and not the people just minding their own damn business.

I apologize if this journal seems harsh, but when I've been having to deal with real-life matters and harassment over fetish content for the last five years I'm going to be petty back at the people that decided to fight tooth an nail over confirming they are correct about a character "dying" when they pop in fictitious media. You might as well go fight the creators of Flapjack and try to force them to say they killed K'nuckles when he explodes at the end of Fancy Pants.