you know, its one thing when your mother and father make you feel down and that your not good enough because you can always realize that they are like you or you really were better than them.

but what do you do when that person really was better than you?

Thats an aweful thing to live with, that you were treated like garbage and thought of as such because another person was inherently better than you.

They were just better than me and I can never get over that. they were made better than me, because I was meant to be garbage and their playthings, me and my fellow peoples.

I cannot convey the pain and feelings of entrapment. I'm bigger and stronger than my parents now, they can;t hurt me or scare me and I can get angrier than they ever could. and I'm the spitting image of some of the human demons in my life so there's no real problem there, they weren't better than me when they mis treated me.

but nothing gets me out of where I was at with the other guys that weren't human. for some reason they had a God given right to do this to me. And I don't thin ki will ever be anything but what I am now no matter how big, tall, smart, strong, or anything else my spirit being could ever, ever be.

I'm always going to be somebody's monkey, some no name, no account worm on the inside. I wish I could put my pain into this writing but I'm not even as much a spirit being as they are I'll bet so I can't.

Just this shell really, my physical is my best part. its all I really am or will ever be