~orangy

Well. Let's just say 2017 was a dumpster fire for me. Not because anything awful happened but it a constant battle with my own depression, a lack of creativity, and a total lack of motivation to do artwork. Somewhere early on, I lost my ability to be happy and no matter how i tried, I couldn't recover it.

Sadly, when it comes to artwork, I don't think 2018 will be any better. 2017 was the year of "do I really want to keep doing this?" I stressed, I tried to do artwork, I tried to continue on and go to school and try to have some semblance of a healthy life.
I failed at 2 of those 3 objectives. I did finish school. I just need to contact them to send me my diploma for my Associates Degree. Yay.
I got tired and it showed. I couldn't focus on artwork at all. Every time I opened a file, I could only describe the feeling as my will to keep going just sort of left me. I didn't even open FA because I... just didn't care about the whole FA thing and seeing other artwork and talking to friends? Oh, I cared about my commissioners but I didn't know what to say and I didn't have the resources to enact any sort of plan. I also didn't want to make promises to finish work when I knew it wasn't going to happen.
I lost some creative spark I had and doing artwork just wasn't bringing it back. I felt lost and a bit hopeless about it.

SO: I'm refunding my list and closing it down until I want to come back. I still have my list and over the next week, I'll be sending money to paypal and refunding everyone. I won't be opening slots for a long time. I might not even do artwork.
And lemme tell you, you won't see me here on FA until at least April. It might be longer. Who knows?

What changed for me? Remember how I told you I wrote a book? It did something for me, it made me feel creative again and finally, I got to tell my own stories instead of day in and day out furry porn. So, I created a pen name and wrote another. And another. And another. My pen name has 2 books out, and one on preorder. Two of them are for a trilogy and one of them is the kick off to a 5 book saga. And I'm fucking happy again. And it's paying the bills? That's good right? I don't really care, but it's important to note. I just am so happy to be telling the stories I want to tell and they are being well received. My readers have really touched my heart and soul in ways I can't describe. Someone approached me to be my editor and my PA (holy shit I have a PA). She's a fucking sweetheart. I <3 her.
Remember when I said you won't see me back before April? Yeah, because that's the projected month of my trilogy finishing. After that, I'll be writing the entire 5 book saga. book one is done so after wrapping my trilogy, I'll be dedicating my time to that. I even have book plans for after that. It's just been a wild time for me. And in the last 2 months, I recovered a happiness I lost somewhere early in 2017.

Now, I need to go read notes and figure out how mad people are at me! <3