So for the first time in weeks, I am actually feeling good. It's been very complicated considering I've had more than enough time on my hands, but something was keeping me down.

Work. And not having any.

I haven't worked since after the 4th of July weekend and even though at the End of July I managed to snag a job...it didn't start till this week. I was very worried, and scared, mostly because this job felt to good to be real. And after dealing with the bullshit that has been Comfort-mother-fucking-Suites. They can all eat shit and die for how they treat people who did NOTHING but bend over backwards for all their BULLSHIT.

I've had enough people fuck with me and fuck with my life. And for the first time in forever since I've come back, I feel like I actually kinda belong here. And meeting people that I know I've seen at a party before and wanting to just tell them "HEY, SO LIKE YOU'RE COOL AND I CAN BE SOMETIMES."

I just miss having friends that give a fuck, and I miss having much older adult friends that treat me like I'm human and not just some fucking whiney ass kid in her 20's. And actually going "Hey! That really sucks bro, wanna go grab a bite?"

Just, these people have showed more kindness then a lot of people have in the last few years that is destroying me with happiness. If anything I feel like I'm back in Portland...even if only for a second..

The point is, I have a scheduled normal life again, and I'm working for a small private school feeding kids from K-6th. And I can be myself completely, I don't have to take out my piercings, I don't have to hide my tattoos, and the best...FUCKING DYING MY HAIR WHATEVER COLOR I WANT!!

Possibly one of the hugest damn things I can do to cheer myself, and I was finally able too.

LOVE TO YOU ALL WHO HAVE RECENTLY WATCHED ME

And love to the ones who have always stuck around. :3