So, people might have noticed that I've not been... active at all, for quite some time. I want to reassure everyone who still visits or cares that I'm not dead, for one. Though, with all the things that go on with me on a good day, it's not far off from feeling like being dead, lol.

For one, I wish to be transparent about a few things. I am disabled. Both physically and mentally, I have a lot of chronic conditions that sap my energy and creative drive. I still see the doctor often to hopefully get a full picture of my overall health and being honest I've been doing a LOT better lately thanks to medication and rest.

But I also think it's time I return to the site and do my best to actually be active.

So, being fully transparent, I might as well list off what in the world has been going on with PaintSplatter! Er, that is, me. Like I just said up there, I have chronic medical issues. I'll list em off below, so y'all have a better picture of why I sometimes just can't stay awake for more than an hour or two at a times. But before that I wanted to give y'all some POSITIVE stuff that's happened to me.

I have a partner now! I don't believe they're on FA, but they're a great friend and partner to me, and I couldn't be happier. I also live with a group of people that help me with my day-to-day issues and are great friends too. I still love diapers and drawing and being creative, even if my creative efforts have been more physically oriented than digitally. I've been working hard on my fiber craft skills -- I love to crochet, if y'all didn't know! I also love embroidery and knitting, though I'm not as good at that stuff, lol.

I also got a new pet! A lovely little Western Hognose snake -- an albino anaconda morph if anyone knows that morph pattern. I might share photos of him if anyone is interested. His name is Sir Penne -- my lil Penny Pasta. He's a year and 3 months old, and a lovely 16 inches long. He's my first snake, and I fret over his health often, lol. Isn't that always the case with pets of a species you've never owned before?

And now for the icky list of 'Things That Are Wrong With Me', heheh;
-First and most ... present in the day to day; Fibromyalgia. I often wake up with severe joint pain in just about... every major joint in the body. Wrists, elbows, shoulders and neck, spine, hips, knees, ankles... It's often bad enough that I can't actually get out of bed and often just lay there waiting for my medicine to kick in and some days it never does. I'm working with the doctor to get my pain management under control, but I live in a state where getting pain medication is an uphill battle. It did result in me having the nickname of 'Ouchy McCrunchyJoints' with friends though.
-Anxiety/Depression are another roadblock for me. I've had this since I was... a wee paint blob, so I still have to fight it with antidepressants and active help with a therapist. Some days it still gets in the way, which combined with the Fibro makes for icky days filled with nothing but endless sleep.
-ADHD/Autism Combo! I don't think I need to explain how debilitating ADHD can be, and combined with Autism makes for... interesting comorbid issues such as extreme hyperfocus on things I can't control -- I once spent a full hour contemplating the movement of a beetle's wings and elytra just because, and ended up not eating that entire day. It's getting managed now, at least!
-Vestibular Dysfunction~ It's a ... strange condition really. A little tough to explain but, basically, my sense of vertical balance is... not great. I can exist just fine in a seated or laying position, but put me on my feet and suddenly you'll see me stumble over nothing and sometimes just fall for no visible reason. This is because my body's sense of balance is off, and I don't always have the ability to stay steady on my own feet.
-Plantar Fascitis. This is a minor condition, but it does make getting around and standing a paaaaain. Literally. If anyone is familiar with the original version of the Little Mermaid story -- wherein the titular mermaid feels as though she's walking on knife blades when she has her feet, that's not far off from how my feet feel after an hour or two of walking. The tendons in my feet don't extend and contract properly, in short.
-I have a few other minor issues, like my declining hearing, seemingly endless fatigue, and migraines. The doctor is currently testing to see if I have an autoimmune disorder that attacks my joints, since my Fibro medication doesn't totally eliminate my pain. I can only hope it's NOT, but, who knows.

Combine all these things and you've got a bevvy of just... pure exhaustion and pain. While I can now say I actually have a good combination of medicines to combat the dull fog of it all, it can still be a struggle. Some days, I just can't get up, and some days I'm manic to the point of hurting myself from overexertion, but now there are days where I'm a ... functional person! Which is awesome.

With all that being said though, I do want to apologize for my extended absence and I promise I will be doing my best in the future to actually be more present and maybe even take commissions again. I don't have anything to offer in the immediate other than my sincerest apologies.

With all the love,
Paint~