It's been quite a while since i did a journal. But this is a very personal Journal, so please hear me out if you can.

I have been suffering in silence because of past mental scars, which I actually have. There have been issues of self-hate and the interests I like have been quietly drifted away due to these Mental Scars. The blocking only makes the self-hate worse. And Real Life got a lot more harder, especially for my Grandma, who now has to move around with a Walker or Wheelchair. I'm trying my best to help her while also trying to better myself since then.

I don't have the Talent for Art. I wish I did, but I sadly do not. I enjoy Art, but I can't make my own. And without a way to commission an Artist, I grow hated of myself more.

Please, do not see this as Guilt Tripping. I'm actually struggling in real life and it's very difficult to Express my thoughts at a time like this.

With My Main OC and an Istrala I made (Due to my Interests from  Ryusuta ) These two act as not Friends, but Family Members. However, My Istrala doesn't Turn My Main OC into another Istrala. It's an Eudaemon in the form of a Good Istrala.

I wish I could mention more, but the last mention is that, my Istrala is more Platinum Blond in Body Color (Not a Shiny Coloring. Just, as if it was a Color.