Hello
I’m going through a difficult time right now.

I wanted to write about this since the beginning of summer, but I kept putting it off. Now something else has happened that made me feel even worse.

I graduated from university — hurray?
During my studies, even with the workload, I still had enough time for drawing and other hobbies. I even thought that maybe I would continue developing more in art than in the field I studied. But I studied on a government scholarship, which means that after graduation I’m required to work for three years in my country and officially pay taxes. From spring until mid-summer I was focused on my diploma project, and since summer I’ve been trying to find a full-time job. It turned out to be very difficult, and for different reasons I still haven’t been hired anywhere. Because of this, my online activity almost completely stopped, and I think it will stay this way until I find some stability or learn to adapt.

I could have accepted being offline for a while — until the next situation happened.

I won’t share details, because it’s a family matter, but in short: the person I trusted most in my family, influenced by scammers, deceived me and took all my savings. Literally everything. I have no personal savings left — everything I earned until now is simply gone.

To be honest, I was already feeling down because of the first situation, but this second one completely broke me. I was tired back then, I’m tired now, and I keep feeling tired. But I know I need to recover quickly before things get worse.
For now, I don’t know how to return to being active online while my life is like this. Maybe the situation is not as bad as it feels, but mentally it’s still very hard.

I wasn’t sure if I should even write this post, because it’s a very personal problem and maybe not something to share publicly. But at the same time, I don’t want to disappear without a word or lose everything I’ve built.
With this post I would also like to inform you about the reasons for my weak activity and apologize for it. Most likely I will feel ashamed later and delete this journal.

Thank you for your attention.