yeah so.....my life really freaking sucks right now......
i've been so angry at my "ex" and making up all this shit in my head to be pissed off about...
and now that i think about it....i was wrong
i still love him
so much that it hurts
and i realize that i've made 3 huge mistakes
1. Telling him we needed to take some time apart......i wouldn't be in this mess if i had never said that, i should of just stuck it out....
2. Not being the one who picked him up when he was at his lowest point and not coming back to him sooner.......it should of been me that night it should of been me that made him realize how special he is and how much he can accomplish
3. loosing him......because i was being stupid i feel that i may have lost him forever. i love him, i never stopped loving him. this was supposed to make him realize that he needed to turn his life around, he was supposed to prove that he really loved me.....and i was a dumbass and stayed away too long and now he's with someone else...because she was there for him when i should of been and wasn't.....he almost killed himself because of me....now all i can think about is him....and how much regret i have...i want him back and i fear that i can never have him again....i'm not going to ask him to leave her becuase that's just fucked up....but how can i live knowing that i can't have the one i love? i want to die now......
seriosusly...fuck my life......i'm a horrible person.....

can't stop listening to this song now
A withered past and a blurry future,
My hearts on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.

I live too fast, and I know I will lose her,
But there is an option, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
Instead


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
It's dead.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love,
And to, the girl, that filled my dark.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove up the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kiss that died.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

(whisper) This goes
Out to
The ones that fall in love
And to the girl
That filled my dark