Wow, I haven’t looked here in a long time. I was scrolling around when I found the site again and sure enough this account is here. Reading through my old journals and seeing my old stuff reminds me of my time here. More importantly it shows me how much I’ve changed and matured. For the portion of my life here I relied so much on people online and validation from people across the screen. It makes me chuckle. I’ve become someone different now. I’ve moved out with my roommates that I’ve been friends with for almost 5 years now. I have a full time job and I’m not entirely hating it. I see that the person I was here was someone who saw the world through a small hole. My view only what I saw in the notes I received, the comments, the favorites, the watches and the art. Now the world is bigger and I have found meaning outside of what high school me thought life meant.
I wish I could say I could look back at this account and this Sona of mine with joy and be filled with nostalgia. But all I can really find is remnants of who I was. Who I was isn’t who I wanted to be and I wish I could go back and share the wisdom I have now. But life goes on.
I apologize to everyone I hurt. I apologize to everyone who supported me and loved me only to be met with nothing in return.
I do have good memories, but I can’t return to this version of myself.
Like a forest after a wildfire, I hope I can return here stronger. But if I do I’d start anew and without any prior commitments. I’ll keep this page up of course, but I don’t think I’ll update it after this. If you reach out I may respond. For now, farewell. I hope everyone can remember sometime I made them smile.
-Matt