Heyo, i never post this kind of stuff except when there is something important.

Usually whenever i got stressed out or bored i always go into drawing art, after all drawing is what i always loved to and a hobby to say the least.

But this time, this kind of feeling in my heart is so big that i dont think i could handle it and i want to share my thoughts and doubt in this website. But i never done anything like this to another website except here lol

But anyway, its something that i always wanted to be more active in the world. Thanks to my family, especially my brother help me discovering new things and give me something to breathe in life. Such as discovering new mall or going to some forests or maybe interact with new friends or people in college or commissions.

And of course, i discovered internet since i was a kid and discovering tons of works, plus discovering my kinks. It something that im happy to what i interest with. Plus getting and meeting someone that has the same interest is amazing and i can make friends with.

But that kindness is something that what kills me maybe in the long run, to this day. As you can see i got once scammed in this year, my account got almost hacked from last years and in fact i got into some problems where i made mistake and often judge the wrong persons. In short, im always thinking and treating of one person without any conflicts and i want to avoid one. But its the fact that they kinda used me as some sort of problems that could benefit theirs and ruin others especially my own family.

Its that problem of what i did and action that brings anyone into something that concurs. But fortunately i didnt end very disaster but i always blamed myself for the one that caused this mess and for instance, i felt like i've been controlled like a puppet.

Less to say, im an idiot. Im easily manipulated and im not smart like anyone i have met. And i cant help but to think the achievement other have made in my years. I felt like im nothing more than liability or just regular artist doing commission stuff and got end up in some problems like a tools or some shit.

Or maybe im actually an idiot
Or a fool
Or someone who's not fit for this part of the world
Or im too kind for them
Or im too addicted in the internet
Or im too trustworthy
Or im just slob and lazy person
Or maybe im too fragile for this world
Or im just...

I dont know, i felt like im nothing.

Who knows? What else for the future may be for me. Maybe i end up being the best and kind person in the world or end up being the lowest of the lowest and the most dumbest men alive.

I'll take a break from now on, can't say much and think much. But dont worry, i might be back soon but who knows...

See ya.