I haven’t forgotten about you guys, I’ve just been insanely busy.

To give you an idea of what my average day looks like, I thought that reviewing this past Saturday might help you get a good look into my daily life.

7am - 8am: attempt to wake up. I was doing food delivery until about 1:30am the night before so a lot of coffee and a healthy dose of playful harassment is necessary.

8am - 9am: now that I can walk around without falling asleep between steps (no lie), I do a dummy-check to be sure I’ve packed every crucial component to my work for the early part of the day: swimsuit, “professional looking” change of clothing, and every piece of makeup equipment I own. Once the dummy check is over I get to slurp black coffee while quadruple checking the filming equipment - cameras, bounces, mics, and everything else in between that we could possibly need.

9am - 9:45am: during the drive I mentally check my inventory for the millionth time: did I remember all of my foundation? Did I pack the swimsuit top? Did I forget the bra? All will be revealed when we open the trunk!

9:45am - 10am: catch up with old friends who might be leaving the state soon, say hello to all the fauna who were just wee babies when I saw them last, attempt to hold five conversations at once while I septuple-check all of he supplies. Nothing was forgotten, which means I get to review my lines while the B Roll films.

10am - 12pm: jump between managing the bounce, applying my own makeup, reviewing my own lines, and changing into costume #1. The only way I know I’m not supposed to hold the bounce is when the director carefully calls, “Ok, we need the swimsuit next scene!” Placate a million borks as the farm dogs are not keen on me slipping into the guest bathroom just to put on a bikini!

12pm - 12:30pm: Carefully recite my first lines as if I am talking to my best friend. Which, technically, I am - because the person I’m supposed to be talking to off-screen is my (off-screen) best friend - so I basically vomit up the lines like we’re talking together.

12:30pm - 12:45pm: I have to change into a new costume and new makeup. More placating of borkborks as the wee farmdogs alert the housesitter to my presence (they’re trying so hard to be guard dogs!!) and I change my makeup, change into new clothes, and present myself to the new scene.

1pm - 1:30pm: carefully enunciate every vowel as the horses, chickens, and ducks behind me decide that now is a good time to make their protest known to the world! I have to continue talking my lines as if I’m talking to my best friend.

2pm - 2:30pm: Wrap up filming. Say goodbye to everyone. Collect my payment (which is a case of 16 farm-fresh eggs), and drive back to town to take care of the director’s dog. Drive back to my apartment 13 miles away from the director to check on the rats (they miss me, but they’re fine), my cat (who misses her food, but is also fine), and the hamster (misses neither me nor his food, as he collects it all in his cheek pouches and lives his little hamster life.) Once the critters are all taken care of I get one hour to trouble-shoot my 3D printer.

2:30pm - 3:30pm: test the extrusion. Test the bed. Recalibrate as best I can. Attempt to run a test print but there isn’t enough time.

3.30pm - 4pm: fight traffic to find myself in an affluent part of town.

4pm - 12:30am: take orders, contact customers, repeat as necessary, at the end of the night take “trouble orders” that end up costing me gas money.

1:30am: get back to the director’s home to crash. Hug the director; admit I’ve smoked some cigarettes (who wouldn’t?!) sleep-spoon and listen to a sleeping dog snore like your great-grandma. Attempt to rest for the upcoming week - but the borkhound needs let out at 7am and won’t let you sleep after that.

By Sunday I’m a zombie, but I keep on trucking and drawing and painting and working until I literally CAN’T anymore. By Monday I just have to wake up when I wake up (usually by getting a phone call from the boyfriend/director): and we talk about the upcoming projects, I brew some more coffee, respond to more emails, and move on with life.

If this was an easy life, I assume everyone would be doing it!