Warning: This journal entry contains moderately sexual content and some profanity.

King Reginald Dude Guy III tossed fitfully in his sleep, lost in unpleasant dreams.

"Reginald!" screamed a desperate voice. "Reginald, where are you? Help me!"

Through the fog he could see only a dim shape, reaching out for him. He stretched his hand out to her. Their fingers barely brushed. Then she was whisked backwards away from him.

"No!" Reginald shouted, cold with terror. "No! Boring Obvious!"

He wrenched himself free of whatever was holding him--he didn't know and it didn't seem important--and launched himself forward into the mist. He ran in the direction she had gone, but he couldn't see any sign of her.

"BORING OBVIOUS!" he cried, his throat rasping with the effort of making his voice carry. "BORING OBVIOUS!"

"...Reginald?"

At her agonized whisper, he stopped and turned around. She was lying on the ground behind him. How she had appeared there after his passing, he didn't even consider. He just dropped to his knees beside her. gathered her up in his arms, and gazed into her eyes. There was blood dripping out of her hair.

"No...No...You have to be all right, Boring Obvious, I can't lose you," he murmured. "Not again, please not again."

He bent his head down to hers as he felt her breath slow. Agonized, he resigned himself to her death and brushed her lips for a final kiss.

And then, suddenly, everything was different. They weren't out in the cold misty night; they were warm in Reginald's bedroom. The blood was gone from her face, and even Reginald had no recollection of it ever having been there. All he knew was that Captain Doctor Boring Obvious was lying in his arms, kissing him softly. He rolled on top of her, one hand on her hip, the other supporting his weight. She was frantically unbuttoning her lab coat. Reginald started to slide off his boxers as he passionately kissed down her neck and along her collarbone, making his way to her breast. One hand gripped around his hair, Captain Doctor Boring Obvious gasped in pleasure, and he delighted to the sound, oblivious to everything else in the world--even the piercing, bestial shriek of wrath that erupted approximately six inches from his left ear. It wasn't until her grasp on his hair became possessive and painful that he woke up.

When he did, he found himself lying on top of a woman he'd never seen before in his life, staring directly into her eyes. Or rather, where her eyes should be. He found he was paralyzed with fear by her horrible empty sockets and the blood dripping down her perfect cheeks. He didn't have much time to reel in shock, though. Jacqueline had awoken and was currently in the process of dragging the woman bodily from the bed. Judging by the way she was pulling his hair, Reginald supposed she was trying to bring him with her. His eyes were beginning to water.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY HUSBAND! HOW DARE YOU COME TO OUR ROOM AND OUR BED! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Jacqueline roared in fury. She had both fists knotted in the woman's hair and was pulling so hard, Reginald was amazed the woman's head hadn't popped off.

"I am the Succubitch," she hissed. Her voice rasped like dead leaves in a rainstorm. She didn't sound anything like Captain Doctor Boring Obvious at all.

"YEAH? WELL, I'LL SUCK YOU, BITCH!" Jacqueline screamed.

"Wait," Reginald said, feeling as if he was missing something. "You're going to suck her? What? Was she here for you?"

Jacqueline glared at him, looking somewhat poleaxed. "What?"

The Succubitch took advantage of their momentary confusion and sliced at Jacqueline with claw-like fingernails. She rolled out from beneath Reginald. Surprised, he attempted to grab her, but was too slow. Before he or Jacqueline could really react, the Succubitch was floating a few inches above the floor of the balcony. Reginald noticed for the first time that the window was open; the expensive curtains billowed around her, looking ghostly beside those empty eye sockets.

"I will return for you," she told Reginald in her hoarse whisper. Her beautiful lips were curved in a small smile. "Miss Lady Ma'am wills it. One day, you will serve me. And you will enjoy it."

Jacqueline howled like a burned cat and lunged for the Succubitch, who faded out of existence. Jacqueline toppled through her and would have fallen off the balcony had Reginald not been able to grab her nightgown. The Succubitch's laugh echoed a long time after she was gone.

"So. What was that you said about sucking her?" he asked his wife, mostly to avoid explaining why he'd been canoodling with a demon in the first place.

"Well, excuse me, your highness, for not being particularly witty when I'm angry," Jacqueline snapped. She slammed the window closed, muttering threats under her breath, and the two of them climbed back into bed.

As he drifted off to the sound of his wife's growling, Reginald could almost pity the Succubitch if Jacqueline ever got a hold of her.


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All Sifhafuvs are original characters and belong wholly to us. However, as a disclaimer: The Succubitch is an off-brand wedding Barbie. We colored in her eyes with black sharpie and used red nail polish for blood. Her cape is actually her wedding veil, turned upside down around her neck and glued to her chest. The brooch and shoes are Barbie brand accessories. Her dress is off-brand Barbie.