Im sorry. I know its the last thing you want to hear. I lts the last thing i want to keep telling you. I know lately I have been a terrible partner and just shitty in general. I honestly cant explain it to you. I sink into things I do, im inexplicably anxious and im not sure why. I dont mean to push you away. Thats not my intention. I dont mean to make you feel alone or undesirable. I dont mean to make you feel anything less than good and confident in yourself, but have lately felt so distant from myself. I have the bad habit of getting lost in an activity. I dont know when i developed it. But i hate it. Its not a thing i do willingly. I dont know when im doing it. I just know its hurtful and stupid and inappropriate. You are my northern star, my guiding light you always have been but i have not treated you with the respect and dignity you so deserve. You should never feel unappreciated or unwanted or alone. Because you are not. I suppose until now i havent realized the responsibility i have as a husband. I havent realized that its not a free pass to do whatever because we are married. It is a commitment, no a promise to put you and your happiness above me. To support you even more than before. I have been a jerk and i ask your forgiveness, i cant tell you i will be a whole different person tomorrow, but i can tell you with confidence that every single day i will be working to improve myself and i will be putting you first all day everyday. You work hard and study hard and you are such an amazing person. You work so hard for your art and dedicate yourself so much to this community. I know it seems as though i lost sight of you but i promise i havent. And i promise that even though i have apologized before, I will show you that I am improving, and working hard to better myself. You look out for me so much and you try so hard every day and i will be there to match your pace. I will be there every day for the rest of my life looking out for you. You are a beatiful person. Inside and out and i have been a big giant butt. Thats going to change. you can count on it. Also, whenever you want to pull out that dogopoly board let me know.

I love you Jessie. I love you more than life itself. More than anything in the world and i truly truly apologize for my lack of showing it. Its you and me against the world. You have to be able to count on me just like i count on you. Were the dream team man. Lets get back on the horse and kick some ass. And maybe bake cookies.