It's a valuable thing!
Being able to turn off your worries and sink into a place where everything is as you want or need it to be.
It varies depending on the person, of course. There's regression, pet training, or even just allowing yourself to be held and told that you deserve love.
The brain is a chemical computer constantly looking for new lessons and dangers. When you start to see your safe space as either abhorrent or something you don't deserve, it's as if you're defending yourself against your own happiness - your own reassurance. It comes from a time of cavemen, where being a bottom probably meant getting mauled by tigers or some shit.
I'm rambling, but I wanted to get something written down.
I've reached a stage where I can't relax - can't let myself be cute, soft or loved without thinking I don't deserve it; that I'm too toxic to receive affection. It's not true, of course - it's just a new way for other issues to express themselves (good for them :D self-expression is important). Objectively, I know it's a way to keep myself alone, but safe.
I'm doing what I can with affirmations to get past this. There are people I want to connect with or get closer to, but it feels like I'd be knowingly serving them poison food.
I know how important headspace is and I want to get back to the point where I can feel like a huffy, cute critter without feeling like I'm manipulating people.
Don't be ashamed of your headspace. Be curious, be safe, be smart - and be willing to protect your peace. Internal bullies can be worse than any you'll find online.