Over the past 4 years I've been through a living nightmare but also had alot of good times as well.

So I almost died... twice
Diverticulitis is nothing to mess around with. so I had to get surgery to remove a section of my Large intestine. When the surgeon comes back and tells you the surgery was successful but if we didn't do surgery when we did I could have died. My section of intestine that was pulled out was black and dead and was very close to perforating. I've known too many people that have died from that.

Second time was 3 days later the procedure had a complication and leaked causing me to start to go into ceptic shock. Let me tell you thats something I never want to experience again because feeling cold, shaking uncontrollable, and the feeling you slowly slipping away is terrifying. I had to have an emergency surgery that left me with a colostomy for the next 8 months, if it wasn't for that I wouldn't be typing this.

Facing the idea of your own mortality twice in 3 days is beyond scary and that sits with you for a while. the recovery from that was hell and I have a huge scar on my belly to remind me of it not to mention other scars. The next year and a half recovering from this and having to get a massive piece of mesh put in to prevent hernias was rough.

Now to the recent stuff. I hurt may back bad at work and blew out a disk in my lower back. A slipped disk isn't fun but having to deal with workmans comp is worse, glad I've got a decent lawyer but in the state the process of getting things done takes a while. Cant go into more detail because god knows if they are going to see this. I doubt it but still rather not take chances. On top of that my girlfriend has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer again just adds to the problems.

"What about the good stuff Sivar?" well even though I had alot of bad happen I still managed to have good happen. I got back into doing the podcasts but that had to stop for legal reasons. I've been on camping trips, even a cruise in 2023 and other vactions before I hurt my back. I even got a promotion at work to Inventory control so I dont have to freeze my ass off anymore but thats what caused my injury tossing out 50lb boxes into a dumpster.

The Reason I had to stop the podcasts was because first someone decided to try and sell my website and radio station claiming they were me back in 2018 and when said person decided to pursue this in 2023 I had to stop broadcasting so the 24/7 broadcast and podcasts had to stop. Since then it's been resolved and the party that got scammed has gotten his answers and is seeking restitution. It was a lot of money and it's sad that someone scammed him like that. Now I could have put the station back up and streaming again with the podcasts BUT my WC layer said bad idea because my adjuster really hates me for reasons I cant talk about yet.

The past 2 years of not being able to run the station has been brutal and annoying to say the least and I have every intention of bringing back Marshal Radio X and both the Nuclear and Sivars Lair podcasts. The Metal Fur will be back and seeing I do now have a Partial thanks to Sakura Sky I plan on trying to get out to at least 1 local event like ANE (if thats still running). Since 2020 the world has been brutal and it's affected us all one way or another some have had it much worse than me. Typing this is a bit of therapy for me, as of February I gave up playing games because of mental health it's alienated me from friends, my GF's breast cancer diagnosis almost losing my house, bills being insane thanks to eversource being greed mongers.

How do I manage all this, well it's simple. I've had to remember no mater how bad shit gets there is a light at the end of the tunnel. besides I have lots more people to piss off and new friends to make so yeah I have goals. I'm turning 50 this year in October and I'm NOT going to let anything stop me, I have plans to live to be 200, as funny as that sounds I'm an ornery bastich Fighting off death twice in 3 days a while ago. If that cant kill me I'm damn sure I wont let anything get me down.

So remember 6 words. Rock'em Hard, Rock'em fast, Metal Forever.
Nuff said