*dusts off this page*

Wow hi again everyone! Already very thankful for any attention to my submission dump last night. I'm trying to be active making art again and maybe returning to my roots to be here more often. Mainstream social media has become overwhelming and disheartening in many ways... I miss the good old days sometimes of just posting here, writing journals on Live Journal and hanging out on Furcadia... ahh the "good times"! (Showing my age a bit haha.) Anyway I'm just feeling nostalgic and trying to find my footing again... ADHD, anxiety/depression, life events like moving, having a kid etc have all contributed to me just... shutting down on a lot of things. I miss the fandom and conventions and nerding out though... I've been so disconnected. Ugh.

I always get a burst of energy around spring to clean up my digital presence and make art, I wish I could feel this way all the time so I could be consistent! I've had many attempts to create a proper, marketable "presence" online. I've tried all the new galleries and social medias as they come and go as well as things like Ko-fi, Trello, Linktree, BigCartel... but I always get stuck in the details and then keeping the habit. At this point I don't know if I'll ever get to be an artist that takes commissions and tables at conventions in this fast paced and overflowing creative space again. I miss making badges and selling in artist alley but like... nowadays I see the crazy table displays of other artists and the output of work they can do and the demand for space and how much it all costs and I just know I can't compete. But that doesn't mean I can't still participate! I get so down and hard on myself for not measuring up to my peers, I always feel behind and out of place. I don't know how to shake the awkward feeling of not belonging, I don't know why I feel like such an alien in any space I try to be. I've been active in the fandom since 2001 and I don't have much to show for it. Maybe I'll be one of those folks that finally gets it together in their 40s...

BUT ANYWAY... for now I am back and I miss y'all and maybe I'll make it to a convention this year idk.