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Digital Artist | Registered: May 31, 2018 10:55
| - | 21 | ♀ Fem | INTJ | Dork | - |
Hi! This is my account for posting any of the art that I've drawn, for taking commissions, and anything related!
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Stats
Comments Earned: 171
Comments Made: 148
Journals: 16
Comments Made: 148
Journals: 16
Featured Journal
[ An Open Note. ]
5 years agoHeya folks. S'been more than a year since I've posted a journal on here, and I deeply regret that fact. I don't know how I let myself get here. Well, I do know exactly how, but I can't excuse myself for it either.
So let's talk about it.
Over the past year, I've started working at a particularly well-known retail store, 'unno if it matters whether I say the name or not, but I'm gonna play it safe on that one. I started in late February, 2019. It was my first, real, true job experience. I never really had that experience before, despite 'working' previously. As such, I've been working 40 hours a week (and then some), every week, for practically the past year. At first as a cashier (also customer service desk), then was promoted as soon as I could, up to eCommerce. It... took all of the energy I had out of me to keep this job, and to do it well. It's still taking nearly everything I have.
As a result, when I took on all of the commissions I could, and resolved to have them all done - that's when I was hired, and that's where my terrible conduct begun. I lost all will to draw for months. The inspiration seeped out of me. And after so long, I forgot much of what I had learned, which only made me not want to draw even more. Everything I drew turned up terribad compared to how much I had before. In the latter half of this year, I've been living alone for the first time as well. In the end I'll still be staying with someone, but they've been away in another country since August. I've been depressed, lazy, and procrastinating nonstop. Every time I bring myself up to do something, I shoot myself back down. And I let everyone down, including myself. It really hurts.
This brings me to today.
Over the past few months, I've been drawing and creating characters of mine in order to get my skill back to a proficient enough level to draw commissions at a level that I feel comfortable giving them. And in honesty, it's also because this is what gives me inspiration to persevere with art. Despite still working full-time, I've managed to get 6 hours of sleep a night and draw at least every day. Now I can create things that I feel are half-decent. I want to make this work, because I really do enjoy those moments I'm able to create. Now I just need to figure out how to make it a job, y'know? That's the dream.
So! Here's the deal. I'm going to post ALL of the art I've drawn up to this point. I know your commissions are there, I can't forget even if I really tried. I still remember the raffle prize that I need to finish. But these are what got me back up and running. For those of you who are still waiting for you commissions, please, feel free to contact me through a note or Discord. I won't bite, and I understand the hole I'm in. I'm tired of throwing my artistic career down the drain. I want to do it right. This is... sort of a vent, sort of me opening up to everyone about what's going on. An open conversation. So please, bear with me. And thank you, if you read all this hot garbage. I appreciate your time. <3
- SN-W F4-LL
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