If the eyes are windows to the soul.. what happens when someone closes them?

At Jan 14, 2006, 9:35:05 AM
Yesterday afternoon, I found out disturbing news of the possibility of going blind. Next week I have to go to a specialist and they might be able to do an operation to help me. I don't know if I can afford it( as in I don't have money but I will try with all might from selling all I own to whatever ) and I know my parents can't. I am really depressed and I can't help it. I shouted it from the roof tops in hopes of being comforted by a stranger because I wouldn't want my family and friends to worry. But then I realized it looks like I just wanted everyone to feel sorry for me so that was really dumb to do ^^; I am still kinda writing about it because now I guess I'm just trying to make sense of it or logically think about it. All I found out is that, I have always chosen careers of choice that require vision even though I've had bad vision for a very long time. Pilot, animator, comic artist, illustrator, architect, engineer, digital artist,etc. T_T And now I'm going to have a degree in digital arts soon. I don't know if that's called irony v.v But yah whatever. Anyways. Bummed. I don't know what will happen to my attitude in the next few days o.o Like I might go into denial and just do stuff i usually do. Or freak out 1) prepare for blindness ahead of time 2) or be numb and just count the days down to my doctor's appointment. v.v; 3) draw lots of bad quick art in an effort to sort out my emotions..
If i wanted to be silly right now, I'd really say I'm having an emo moment. Or dang what a emo journal entry XD

I found a quiz thing that could go on forever o.o http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx


(Today 1/20/06)
I went to my appt today. I'm having surgery on Friday... I'll write more about what's going on later...