I didn't end up drawing ponies, though I'm sure I will in the future.

I haven't really started on my project yet. It's daunting so I don't blame myself. Info on some of the animals, then drawing. So far I only have info on the Abbott's Booby. I'm trying to recruit my roommate to help me with the task. ^_^

WARNING VENTING BELOW

I feel like shit. You know how when you're upset your body temperature rises? Well, mine is so high that I feel ill, which I know I'm not.

I have a mate, we're in an open relationship. We've been together for nearly seven years and we haven't had many problems. A few that were sorted quickly and effectively in the beginning. We set up ground rules so that we wouldn't hurt each other. But he did. Tried to keep me a secret from the other person, who was a friend of mine, which meant he was trying to make me lie. I made it clear that I had meant completely open. And we moved on.

I never got into a relationship with anyone, but while he was away a school, I slept with a few people, never really planned, and after I told him. Unbeknownst to me, this upset him. Strike one against not communicating. Recently we made some new friends in the local furry community. They joined our D&D games and it was fun. Then I showed an interest in the girl, and she in me. We messed around and then told me her husband was interested in me. I decided to talk with him, which ended up being sex, turns out we just lusted each other, perfectly normal. But then I find out that she and my mate are having sex, and my mate has been making excuses as to why sex with me is not something he wants to do since last July...

So I got made, because no one told me, no one checked to see if them being in a relationship was good for the friend dynamic. In a way, I felt betrayed. I had never started a relationship with anyone before, and whenever I thought about it, I always talked to my mate before doing anything.

Now he spends more time with her than with me. She loathes me. They both basically think I'm an asshole because around the same time that all of this started I was working a high stress job and had a loud, angry mental break down. I don't hide how I feel about everything, and I always have helpful ideas as to how to make this okay with everything. Like telling me before my mate goes off from basically waking up until it's basically time for bed. I'd I don't know, like to see him once in a while. Or calling me to let me know a really rough guess at when he might be home. I AM SO TIRED OF 'I DONT KNOW'...

They still play D&D with us, but when they come to the house her husband is the only one who says hello when I greet them with my hostess smile. I make sure to spend an hour pushing away my anger so we can play and then I get stubbed. And my mate says I'm being an asshole and that she doesn't have to acknowledge me. She's in MY house, playing a freaking game with me, how is that okay?

Friday was my birthday, and my mate had been telling me he was going to make me dinner and that I was going to love my birthday. So I find out that his plan was to take me over to her house, with no real way to leave, knowing full well that I don't feel comfortable there, invite over her other boyfriend, his wife and her husband's boyfriend for the only real guests to the party. All of which are not my friends. That is the normal guest list for one of her house parties, which she normally has on Fridays, that I am not invited to. Is it wrong for me to have called BS?

I had to fight with him to move the party to our larger more furniture full apartment, like literally yelling and being hung up on a lot. I told him repeated they these people weren't my friends and I didn't want them at my party. What does he tell me? 'You need to make some friends.' Like I don't have friends. At which point I started to consider that he has stopping paying attention to anything that doesn't involve him. How could he not know who my best friends are? I'm very obvious about it.

My mate and she ended up spending all morning up until 3pm doing goodness only knows what while I sat home alone, bored. Then they plus her husband took me to Wendy's, they they were off again to some guys house to take our car to get fixed, as though they couldn't have done it later, or another day. So her husband and I with a friend of mine whome my mate dislikes went to Main Event for bowling. I actually had fun for the first 2 hours with several of my friends and her husband who I still consider a friend of sorts. Then he got text from his wife saying they were there. Twenty minutes later they finally showed up. The miscommunication of them finally making it to the guys house pissed me off and the rest of the night, while my mate basically ignored me in favor of her, which I told him was something he did and I didn't want him doing if she was going to be at my birthday party, I had a crappy time.

We went back to the house later than I wanted, didn't eat dinner until 10pm because of cooking times. He had her help him, while I sat in the living room not enjoying myself at all. Then instead of sitting with me to eat, he sat next to her. Then we were done eating, they hung out some more while I sat hating my life.

I realize that when someone is in a bad mood, no one really wants to hang with them. But honestly, the bad mood could have been avoided with people I didn't want being there, I don't know, not being there. Or he could NOT ignored me at bowling and then the house. Asked me to help with cooking or offered me the oven to make the cake. Which I wanted to do, even if he stopped my friend buying the cake mix and frosting I told him to buy for me and then bought me a cake I liked, not the cake I had been looking forward to for at least a week.

His response? You should have told me the right cake. Because I totally wanted two Devil's Food cake mixes... not to mention he would have bought chocolate frosting or something like it when I wanted to try it with a cream cheese icing.

I barely slept that night, so upset was I. I had work the next morning, so I basically had a horrible Saturday as well. Worse of all, he doesn't understand that I had the worst birthday ever because he didn't listen and won't just say sorry or try to make up for it. He says I should stop complaining because at least he tried, which I have pointed out A LOT that it sure doesn't look like it to me.

Am I wrong? Should I be saying sorry for not appreciating the wonderfully horrid time that I had thanks to his ideas? Is it possible for someone to be so stupid they don't understand that enemies are not who you invite to your birthday party when there is a loathing there?

END RANT

Not going to lie, even if no one responds, I feel a bit better. Earlier I felt so upset I might have been sick. Glad that's over.

I hope you're all having a much better time of it than me.

<3 Dust