Wow does that title have so many meanings for me right now...

It has indeed been a while since I have had the chance to properly visit this account. My family and I are dealing with the chaos caused by a recent house fire, so not only was a good portion of our home destroyed, but we are now being forced to live scattered about until the repairs are finished (some of us in a hotel and others staying with neighbors)... and my artwork has had to take a backseat to the mess that is my life right now.

My ex lost his job and hasn't paid support in almost 3-4 months, and I lost my side job as a housekeeper and have little to no income coming in from my sculpting, so I am in very serious fear of losing my home and van to financial institutions. I have not been able to find work so money has been pretty much non-existant. But hopefully that will be changing soon. I'm trying to keep my faith for that to turn around.

I was recently diagnosed with serious blood pressure issues dues to the stress of my marriage falling apart and all of the turmoil that caused. At the moment I am afraid I need stronger meds to help regulate it or I will be looking at kidney failure and strokes...

Since losing my husband I have bounced from one bad situation with relationships to another. Being treated badly and used for nothing more than physical benefits... and all I wanted was to know I wasn't a lost cause...

Admittedly, I was pretty damn close to the breaking point. I was mere moments away from just giving up. Nothing as drastic as suicide mind you, but definitely a complete emotional shut down... just so I could cope properly with the day to day that seemed to be hell bent on taking me apart piece by piece.

I was done...

There I was ready to walk right off the edge and fall into oblivion...

When my brave protector reached out and pulled me away from the darkness that threatened to swallow and destroy me forever.

This wonderful man was willing to look at all of the excuses others had piled up as reasons why they could not be with me, and then dismiss them as if they did not even exist at all. He saw my flaws as endearing traits that make me an even more beautiful and unique individual. He has given up the easier path which he had been traveling, in order to create a new and far more difficult path with me... and he has done all of these things with frightening ease and passion. My heart is on the verge of bursting with a love that I swore to myself could never exist within me again.

For as much as my life has beaten me down and tried to keep me down, I should be miserable, but I'm not... He has lifted me up and made me believe again, not only in Life and Love... but in Myself.

And for that...

It's been a while.



I love you, Baby! Thank You... <3


And thank you all for taking the time to read this.

Tamiko~