It's a strange feeling to be writing this journal. To address a bunch of strangers and friends so far or near in the future for whatever reason it may be. I don't know for what reason you're here or why, but I felt it necessary to give some degree of context.

Seven years ago, to this day, was a turning point in my life that resolved in the destruction of an identity that was no longer mine and the slow creation of a new one. The story which led to that outcome is another matter entirely, but it is no longer relevant. If the time comes to share it, then I will do so. As of right now, there are other parts which far outshine that.

A recent acquaintance-made-friend gave me a fair bit to think about with regards to my own journey of self-discovery to this point. Of course, everyone's is different and can vary, but what is near universal are the connections we make with others and the events which follow. The internet enables this process to be asynchronous, such that someone could be stumbling upon the footprints and echoes of much that came before. Within the furry fandom in general, the entire concept of self-discovery and subsequent self-actualization *is* the point. And it has been since its emergence.

Over seven years, I've met with, connected, fought, and lost people as most will do in their lifetime. But I also have a record sparked by collaborative creation that tell stories of my own self-discovery. Some of it sexual in nature as is expected of a queer community. But a good part of it is just a shout into the void that I existed.

As trite and /r/im14andthisisdeep that comes across. It doesn't make it any less true.

I've hoarded much of this record to myself, as that was the original purpose: my own gratification. My own fulfillment.

But what gave me pause recently was the acknowledgment that my own search was successful because of things people wanted to make into the world that did not exist. Some weird, some horny, but each of them a connection. And that in turn led to me creating what I also wanted to exist.

And that in turn led to my first meeting with my now-partner nearly ten years prior to us reconnecting and becoming such. Right now he sleeps next to me in our bed. I do not think that outcome would have happened had I not left that door open and not allowed what I made to be discovered.

It will take some time, but there is much I want to share. Years of collected thoughts and observations and character designs and sexual discovery and so much more besides.

And it begins with this:

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62111373/