I don't keep up with recent lore because I dont care. I also find it funny that Mick39 doesn't really know or care about me or the parties involved, because frankly this doesn't have to involve them.

This will be a very direct journal.

Effectiveness of cannibalism:

Sergals at the time of introduction feature Northern sergals going lebensraum on southern sergals by using cannibalism. This is for shock factor, and is not based on reality. That is a completely valid thing to do, realism does not mean better and vice versa, because its all just different taste in the end. if it was a good idea, it would of been standard practice during the bronze age and we would still being doing it today. The reason we don't is because we take the toilet and sewer for granted. The overwhelming majority of even bronze age era battles take place over at least several days, filled with countless people in areas where there is no running water, hand soap, and functioning public restrooms. What happens when a wounded body falls in that area? Do people know why dysentery is so commonly mentioned throughout history? Because even eating the rations off of dead bodies gave you that. Imagine what eating the body itself would do. So why doesn't this seem to be an issue for vultures and wolves? Well first, they're not scavenging after hundreds of bodies pooping all over each other. Second of all, vultures prefer flesh under a day old. But at most they will eat four day old meat. Not several month old meat. Thirdly, it is a problem. We don't take pictures of animals dying of bacteria and infection because its not interesting, and it makes them look not-so-majestic to see them succumb to something bob from accounting had a sick day over and will recover using some over the counter stuff.

Mick39, mostly likely knows this, and they most likely don't care. Which is fine. I never used this as a reason to disparage the setting. But I notice that some sergal users then don't seem to know why. At least some I met who will never likely read this. The very problematic ones literally think this is somehow genius.

Early fandom:

Sergals get a special kind of hatred. In social media, people don't actively try to hate them. But when they do, it always gets mass likes. Liso made an infamous one that punched some sergals egos really hard, seeing he is well known. That's not the kind of hatred you get from memes. That's the hatred that has to be earned. No one wants to think about you because you caused actual pain. But when someone affirms your view of them, you hit a like. And when they appear, boy do they get likes. This isn't because of rain. People keep using this as an excuse. If Rain was the problem, why didn't Darth Vader cause Star Wars to see a similar level of hatred? The truth is, many sergal players and users like Kika and Riku found her actions and brutality to be venerated and aspirational to their real life beliefs. She attracted those types of furries. This made the sergal species a designated kill zone for other furries to designate who needs to be questioned at the most mercifully, and quietly blocked very commonly. Many sergal users dont know how to react to this, other than very defensively.

The correct way to do this is the same way reasonable germans acknowledge the holocaust: Admit that it happened and this is a new time, or in this case. Admit that it happened, and you were not involved (If you were, then frankly fuck you). Even very left leaning furries who hate sergals, especially when you condemn the action will literally let you go when you say that. Sadly, most sergals don't do this, and will even go as far as to deny individual sergals being problematic. This will functionally only drag on the stigma against sergals, and Liso's post is only a year old. I sitll run into this problem, but I know I handle it better.

On Kika:

I should of walked away. But I was young, and thought blocking was a sign of weakness. That part she abused. After a few interactions with her, i decided to just let her be. She would not shut up about how much she hates Dominik, and she would not shut up about how he's objectively pathetic because he's her character now, and not mine. It doesn't even matter if I stopped talking because she knows even when I say nothing, it irritates me. And I decided to go up to her and say, keep your opinions about Dominik to yourself. You made your point clear, now leave me alone. She did not leave me alone and resorted to increasingly intense forms of mockery. Her excuse was that it was done in character, and is just roleplaying. Even though its such an obvious mask and cop out, as making Kika say it doesn't make it any less uncomfortable. Two years later in 2015, I asked her why. Why not just shut up. We get it, you don't like it, and you view double bladed swords and vilous's red chapter as a realistic military guide to tactics. Because she doesn't understand reality and thinks Mick39 is the greatest military tactician in human history. That's fine. But why not just leave me alone?

I did not like her response, and made a very strongly worded message, to put it lightly. According to her friends it scared her, and upset her. And they defend her, that because she sent her insults behind a character, who I was no longer roleplaying with. It's A-okay. Her last journal when she made boneshead her new owner, mentioned that she enjoyed every interaction except mines. I don't know the proportion and size of those interactions, of which favored her or both parties. But she called me out as not being one of them, and you can tell I made her upset. Kika isn't active, her friends group is small and I can see why.

In 2018 in F-List, I gave her one more visit. I only interacted with her twice since 2013, because I cannot emphasize how genuinely angering it is at the thought of even saying hi to her. My interaction was me asking her why she did those things. When I made that statement, I was nice, but the sensation my body felt was, to put it politely, severe. Hands were pulsing, lightheaded, chills. She repeatedly said she was sorry. When I asked why, she said sergals were canonically cruel back then. But in 2016 it changed. Mick made them nice. So she made Kika an Eastern Sergal, and not conduct genocide or commit cannibalism. Kika deliberately based her character and how she behaved towards me, off of the personality she thinks sergals have. She doesnt know, and probably still does not know, that you never base your interactions with real life people in person and behind a screen, off a -fictional antagonist-. You just don't. That's like if I was a kid and started hitting my classmates with a ruler pretending it was a lightsaber. If you do, you have no sense of reality. This is an adult, with a job, and as of today, children. The only explanation that would make her seem more sane is if she was preemptively like this, in that case her political views may be unsavory, and we have a good guess on who she probably voted for. She made that post, and logged off for good. She was scared of me. I really did scare her with that threat. You can tell she was deeply upset and vented to her friends. I don't really know if I've actually forgiven her, which i said I did in our last interaction in 2018. And deep down she knows that I probably didn't.

Their reputation:

Sheza, who was active on twitter, reacted badly to Liso. Following her around, she condemned people who stated they had bad experiences with sergals. Even going as far as to say that none of them are bad. She says that until she sees screenshots from ten years ago, it didn't happen. Disregarding the fact people change devices. Disregarding the fact that people dont save screenshots of upsetting events that happen fast. Sheza is now friends with Boneshead, who probably talks about Kika and how she's the victim because she was doing roleplays non-consensually with people who she knows are deeply upset by it. And no doubt Sheza, who wasnt even a sergal back then, is on that bandwagon.

"My grandaparents died in the holocaust."

"Do you have any photographic evidence of them?"

Sergals have earned a special kind of hatred that you don't see often in the internet anymore. The type where they caused genuine harm to the point people want to forget them, so they dont talk about them, but they will praise anything disparaging them. They live in my head, and many others, but not rent free. They pay with their rejection and humiliation every day. If not those two, then their isolation. Sergal users are quietly changing their species to sharks and whatnot, abandoning them, and non users are moving on. With people like Sheza and Boneshead carrying the torch, the reputation of sergals outside their isolation will never be remediated, as their numbers diminish and the memory of them evaporates.

On Ronnie:

Ronnie is one of the oldest sergal designs, dating back to 2012. Her name was from an NFSMW character, Ronald "Ronnie" McCrea. They share no resemblance. She is also in a funny way, the first Eastern Sergal, because she is a North-South hybrid and is physically larger than either. This aspect of her was created from day one in 2012. Before this entire disgusting mess. Before meeting Kika. Before Eastern sergals were officially a thing by Mick39 in 2016. Yes, I created Eastern sergals before Mick39 did, and we created them independent of each other's knowledge. I just called them hybrids. While hybrid characters older than Ronnie probably existed, I've yet to see one that is physically larger than the average northerner.

Unlike Kika, I didn't change Ronnie to be good. She already was a decent person. Unlike many "better" sergal players, I didnt ditch Ronnie, or change her species. I considered ending Fermi Paradox' setting as a Vilous fanfic, and turning Ronnie into a Giant River Otter, but it just doesn't work. If Ronnie wasn't a sergal, she isn't Ronnie anymore. And in a way, to change her species so I wouldn't be upset, isn't going to fix anything. She's also a reminder of what happened to me, even when it hurts.

Closing statement:

I'm not going to leave this fandom. However minimal my activity is, I know I wont get bored of working on this setting. I've shelved it, said I shelved it, but I always come back a few weeks later. Making new weapons, battles, and thinking out what my own story is even about. The best part about working on Fermi Paradox is that I often feel like as though I didn't even make it. Regarding Ronnie. I want her to outlast all the bastards. She outlasted Kika, She outlasted Riku.

The reason I made this long journal is because there is a recent trend of people talking about "reasonable crashouts", moments of unbridled anger that are considered to be reasonably expected by someone who is otherwise well adjusted and productive. In 2024 and prior, the internet advocated for extreme levels of toxic positivity, negative emotion was looked down upon regardless of the reason. And now the trend pendulum (The Trendulum?) swings to the other side. This isn't the first time that happened, as the term toxic positivity became a trend in the mid 2010s, and for a while negative emotions were tolerated. Most of my "crashouts" were not reasonable. My anger towards Kika, however much they try to deny it. Is more than reasonable.