I think the last time I was on here actively was about 6 years ago, and so much has gone on since then. Before I get into that, and trust me, there's a lot, I feel like I should probably clear a few things up, even though it's probably mostly irrelevant years down the road.

First off, when I was here originally, I was a horrible liar; ESPECIALLY about my age. I might've gone over that before via PM's with some of you, but I still feel like it's some shit that I need to get off my chest. I'm 20 now; I joined here when I was 11, and looking back it DEFINITELY shows lmao. I had to delete my profile description and everything 'cause honestly? It was super fucking cringey, not to mention all that old energy from like... middle school or so. That needed to go, y'know? Obviously, I've changed a lot since then, and I wanna apologize for some of the bluntness, homophobia, deception, and weird ass comments I left on some people's work way back in the day. We do dumb shit when we're kids.

Second, I dunno how to say this without coming across as condescending or some shit, but like... I dunno if I'm still into this or not. Well, take that back. I am, but I also really hate the shame from outside that comes with being a part of this community, thanks to the multitude of creeps that like to prey on kids, actual animals, other adults, etc. Yes, I realize that's a VERY SMALL minority of people here, but they still exist, and I think that's disgusting. I'm just here 'cause I grew up with cartoons and games with talking animals, and a lot of the kink related art I've seen with regular human characters is pretty bland. So, you put 2 and 2 together, you feel me? I'm not some stereotypical nose-picking, unhygienic neckbeard with low testosterone and a concerning attraction to like... underage lolicon shit. I'm not some creep like Pamperchu, Chris Chan, or Rian Gordon. I have a couple friends who are great dudes, but unfortunately get stereotyped and lumped in with *that* group just 'cause they're a part of this community, and I don't wanna subjugate myself to THAT shit. It might just be first world problems, but regardless, I just don't like the label and the common views about it that get thrown out there. I still wanna look at art, talk to a few older friends/acquaintances I've missed, and draw some of my own art every once in a while (And trust me, if you've seen my submissions before I deleted them way back when you'll be glad to know I've improved a lot since then lol) but just like... I don't wanna be too closely associated with the community for those reasons previously stated.

Anyways, that covers everything I wanted to get off my shoulders. As far as life goes, I dunno, dude. I've lived in the middle of West Bumblefuck for about 11 years, and honestly unless you're brought up in one of the prominent families here, or if you get a scholarship and go off to college, you're pretty much fucked. All throughout high school my dad pressured me into college, even though I never wanted to. We'd take business trips over the holidays and breaks to places for sale that had colleges nearby, which completely fucked up my schedule. Aside from my location, that right there is the other reason why I was never able to get a job, even with how much I wanna work and how much drive I have in person. Anyways, then he started forcing me into it by my senior year. I had scholarships from 13 different schools and I was too scared at that point to admit that I didn't wanna go to school, so I spent the rest of the year I graduated tryna figure out where I could go to get away from him and his shit. I finally got out by early 2018 but I realized much too late that I wasn't supposed to be there, and it was the worst week of my entire fucking life. 8 mental breakdowns within 2 days, I don't wanna go into details there but it was pretty bad. I got out of college but I was gonna be forced right back into it, thankfully by the end of may in 2018 I had the courage to put an end to it. My family and I have still been searching for something to buy as a business, 'cause all 3 of us are tired of being here, but it just hasn't worked out yet.

My health is pretty good, aside from a breathing issue I developed last July, which has really kinda killed my vibe. Basically, I can only get a full breath in every other breath at best, the others range from about 50% to 75%. Someone who had a similar problem told me it was silent reflux, but I dunno exactly. All I know is that I'm tired of that shit already and in order to cope with it, I've been doing a lot to better myself recently. I've lost about 50-60 pounds since June, I've been working on calming my mind and taking a more appropriate approach to situations, etc. I do feel like a bit of a lump, a loser, whatever you wanna call someone in my shoes. But, even with that in mind, I can only go up from here. I'd get into it more, but I don't wanna bore you guys with some bullshit pity party journal update, blah blah blah you get what I mean. I'm just kinda going with the flow of life and getting up after being thrown into the shit repeatedly. Oh, and I'm kinda-sorta back I guess? Lmao.

Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate it. Be safe out there you guys