I'll be removing all Tresh and Tsar art shortly (probably tommorrow), but I wanted to put this up in case anyone who saves art wants to save the art before it goes away.

Copy-pasting the reason for the deletion here.

For those who don't want to read, it's easy enough: Tsar and I are not a couple. Not mates. Not together. So there's no reason for that art to still be up. It only serves to hurt me right now.



Things are just not good for me right now.

THe fact of the matter is, I loved Tsar. I loved him deeply. Every day I checked on him, told him I loved him, prompted him to eat, drink, take care of himself. I cared so deeply about him. I told him, I knew he was stressed. I knew he was sad. But I'd be there. I was there. I stayed faithful, I stayed true. I had promised him...I had kept that promise. I would be there. I would be faithful and I would be there for him through everything, and I WOULD get to him.

I saved to get a passport. I got that passport. I nearly made it to Canada. Turned out, Tsar can't get a passport himself, so he couldn't get me over the border. I was willing to let a complete stranger help me to get to him! But that person backed out, so it wasn't even my fault that I couldn't get to him. So...I said, we'll make plans for a later date. I'll get to you. I will. And that was my goal.

Then...then I see recently that he's changed his info on FA. He has a mate all of a sudden. Not a single word to me about this. No telling me that hey, he's interested in this other person.

And I find out...because I failed to get to him for the holidays...he'd given up. He'd given up on me, he'd given up on us...he'd given up. He'd found someone else. He had always told me, never give up. Always keep up hope! We'd make it happen! He told me this, so many times.

But he NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS OTHER PERSON. He fell in love...and he kept letting me tell him I loved him. He kept letting me tell him every day how special he was, how loved and appreciated and valued. While he was in love with someone else.

THAT HURTS.

How can anyone do that to a person?

It's...it's devastating. It's painful and it hurts like hell, and it's just...

I never gave up. I stayed faithful. I stayed true. I kept my promise.

But...all I can say now is...I wish him happiness. I do.

ALl I can do now is just start concentrating on me again. Get out of my current living situation and into something better. Hopefully.

But I am SO VERY TIRED. Every damned day.

Tsar was...he was my heart. He was trusted. Valued. LOVED.

And he tore out my heart and stomped on it.