It was a quiet evening in Knoxville TN on the night of September 19th. A wholly unassuming day, until a band of Hecc's Angles biker clowns made a pit stop at one of the bars just outside the city. The "El Sazón" bar and grill was quickly overtaken by the sound of roaring engines, Dixie playing clown horns, and the cacophany of seventeen pairs of clown shoes. An evening, that left four men dead, and three more sent to the hospital.

"Its going to haunt my nightmares" Said David Brant, the bartender at the night of the altercation. "Every time I close my eyes, I can hear their squeaky mallets".

George Harrison, the bar's double first named patron, was beaten to death by the pack of clown bikers. Reports indicate that he managed to take four of them "kicking and honking to hell with him". Eyewitnesses testify the brawl started when George went up to the group of clowns, and attempted a knock knock joke. Reports vary on the exact wording, but they all seem to agree that the joke was "So fundamentally unfunny", it allegedly enraged the pack of clowns into a murderous fury. It's been reported that upon completion of the joke, foam bats and squeaky mallets came out of the pockets of nearly every clown, with one of them being armed with a chainsaw that had rubber ducks instead of regular chainsaw teeth.

"It was horrible" says another eye witness in between fits of giggles. "That man died, but it was the most entertaining murder I've ever seen. It felt like an Always Sunny skit."

"I tried to call the cops, but I couldn't stop giggling" says another witness, who was on oxygen at the time of interviewing. "I had passed out from too much giggling, I just couldn't breath." The witness is currently at St. Street Saint's undergoing intensive care for oxygen depravation.

The aftermath has left the bar covered in blood, confetti, party streamers, a rubber nose, and at least one patron urinated themselves from laughing. Police have sent the most hardened detective in their retenue to investigate what happened. He was on the scene, whipping other officers with a crop when spotted having too much fun with their investigations. Detective Killjoy McCoy is a Gulf War veteran, missing two fingers on one hand, a scar across his face, and rarely seen without a cigar at any time. He's been with the department for seventeen years, and has managed to solve uncover the underground used pantie trading network. It wasn't illegal, but the good citizens of Knoxville took great offense, and thus Killjoy had been sent to put a stop to it. He's also the man borrowed by the Rutherford police department to run Operation Candy Crush, the multi million dollar sting to crack down on entirely legal CBD gummies, and the only part of this story that's not made up.

"We feel the investigation is in good hands" said deputy Parker, with a half grin on his face. "If anyone can squeak out justice in th- OW", at this point the interview was ended by Killjoy with his leather enforcer crop. The squeak joke seemed to have been too much for the detective, who refused to speak to the press.

Meet Diane White. She is a medium who works in pigeon forge. Through her black magic, she allowed us to get an interview with the man who was murdered in this viscous attack.

"I always considered myself to be something of a clown" he told us, having to raise his voice over the constant screaming of damned souls behind him. His ghostly Visage floated over the table, projected from Diane's entirely white eyes. "I thought 'hey, this is your big moment! If you're gonna prove yourself to be a clown, this is it', so I tried to get in with them. I guess they didn't like the joke."

When asked what the joke was, this was his answer. "Knock knock", to which we answered 'who's there'. "A funny joke". And that was it, there were no punchlines afterwards. No follow up to 'a funny joke who', that was the entire joke.

When asked what it was like to be in that moment, George had this to say: "Oh it was great! I punched one clown in the mouth so hard confetti shot out of his nose. Those foam bats do hurt more than you'd think, though. At first they aren't bad, but when there's ten of them cracking your skull at the same time, it adds up. Had the time of my life, though, at one point two of them got my arms and held me in a full Nelson, and then the idiot with a chainsaw revved it against my face. My senses were the dull pain of rubber repeatedly smacking my face, the roar of an angry chainsaw, and the constant squeal of fifteen rubber ducks constantly being squeezed one after another at high speed."

Unfortunately, the interview had to be cut short when an imp had to drag George's soul away for regularly scheduled torture.

We managed to get ahold of one of the four clowns killed by George's bare hands before they managed to take his own life.

"It's an affront to comedy" Said Mike Hawk, a member of Hecc's Angles for six years. "You can't make a knock knock joke and not have a 'blank who' punchline, YOU CAN'T DO THAT". The soul's physical form was bulging with muscle, and covered in tattoos. Across his bare chest was a clown wig with "mom" in the center. His soul still wore the clown nose over his angry grimace, and a party hat over his balled, scarred head.

It's a dark night here in Knoxville, a community reeling, and giggling, in the wake of this dark comedy. Hopefully one day, this town can heal. Back to you, Studio.