It’s been a while. It sucks to realize it’s been a WHILE and I haven’t done anything and the reasons are simple, besides it being my fault for letting my own stress get to me. I’ve been working a full time job, most of my year was working closers, losing my afternoons and nights and being best down by aggressive management until I’ve lost energy and motivation to do ANYTHING. Then I got into a CAR ACCIDENT which totaled my car and really messed with my mental state and anxiety and it all fell out from under me.
Then 3 months ago, I FINALLY managed ti get my shift switched to opening shifts, but that also required me to change my sleep schedule dramatically and I’m still working on that due to a constant stream of anxiety surges when I try to sleep.
But all of it has gotten the better of me, it’s changed who I am and I had someone very close to me tell me that I’ve changed for the worst, getting distant, losing my motivation for anything and focusing on only the negative things (especially bringing bad days at work home with me).
All of it has hit hard. And again, it’s also my fault for letting that happen instead of fighting the negatives and focusing on the positives, no matter how small. I’ve been working to fix that, finally. Hopefully it’s not too late to do so! My art may never be perfect, but it’s a fun thing I should be happy to do in my free time, instead of dreading how bad it might look when I try to do it. Plus, my family has adopted some kittens who have kept me in my toes, they’ve been growing up to be gremlins. Loving gremlins, don’t worry. XD
I’m going to fight to regain that part of me, the passion, the social vibe. It won’t be easy, nothing is easy in the current crazy times we’re living in! But keep fighting! Keep motivated! Talk to friends you know who love you! Remember your passion! Heck, I might try posting stories some time. Maybe that would help keep a flow when I’m not drawing? Just the idea of trying should be a fine prospect. If you read, thanks. I needed to explain and vent what’s in my mind throughout this last year.