I never thought that I would ever find myself in a situation where I have felt severely discouraged for a few years now, especially within the fandom where I have had the utmost privilege of meeting some of the coolest artists I have known.

Of course, there are bound to be some bad experiences with artists, and I would like to say for the most part it is almost like a red badge of courage for both commissioners and artists to have terrible experiences. But sometimes there are some exceptionally heinous interactions that can really change a person's outlook.

I realize this is rather late for me to talk about the situation that had happened to me personally, but I really need to find closure on what happened. Writing down is hopefully a good start to help me in the process, at the very least to vent as I tell my side of the story. I can only hope that of course, this does not violate any rules within FA's ToS, but at this point I could probably care less. I need to get this off my chest, whether or not it is perceived as a faux pas or a violation.

It had been three years since September 2018 that I have attempted to commission from the artist  badcoyote

Previously, as some maybe aware, I had commissioned this artist for previous commissions (of which said commissions had always been meet with high satisfaction). For the most part, I consider myself reasonably patient and understanding, but I will fault myself for having personal weaknesses when things aren't quite meet with expediency. I would like to think for most people it makes us human in that regard, a flaw that most would not readily admit.

Some 18 months later was I messaged letting me know that the artist was ready to work with me and was ready to work on my piece within the queue. I will admit, I was in a rather poor mood that I can clearly remember speaking to BC's contact lobosan that after my request to get a refund was denied, that I really didn't care what was going to be drawn. Now, for someone who had waited I think a long time for paying a $520 commission, most people would be ecstatic to hear back.

But this was not the case for me. My feelings, even if I conveyed them in a rude manner, were real to me that I communicated my complaints.

That's when things naturally went downhill into my current situation. My commission was revoked, my money never returned to me, and I was told effectively that (in their own words) I am a "thankless customer" with a "poor attitude."

Given that I had went through quite an ordeal, I thought it was in my best interest for myself and others to inform on this matter. All that I have to say has been compiled in the Artist Beware page that I have opened up to explain in great detail what happened.

I will be candid about this: I do not appreciate having my money stolen by a thief, nor do I appreciate being called a thankless customer, when for the most part I have paid in advance and tipped my artists for their works. Betrayal... Anger... Doubt... feel insignificant compared to what happened, and perhaps my writing in the AB post reflected it.

Still, after all is said is done, I am not sure that even if a resolution to this situation would ever bring me the peace that I need. And it certainly won't stop people from trying to take advantage of me. Why, I had a landlord who refused to return my deposit to me, but if anything from this fraud of a commission I have certainly learned to better handle such disappointments.

No matter how much I try to tell myself the money doesn't matter, or that the commission itself isn't that important, I still felt that something was lost that I cannot find. The enthusiasm to commission artwork, wanting to work on my own characters and their lore... that seems to have vanished.

I will concede a part of me is also regretful that I have lost contact with the artist who I thought I could trust enough to be an acquaintance. I certainly didn't mind telling them at the few times what has happened in my life since three years ago: I finally got a full time job, I brought my own car, and I have moved into a house with wonderful roommates that I want to hang out with for the first time in my life.

But after what happened of course, why would I want to talk to someone that has hurt me like the way he did?

I certainly hope that more people will continue to commission artists in spite of the risks and hardships that might develop between commissioners and artists. My wish is that my situation may serve as a cautionary tale that at least makes people think before hand if the artist is someone you can trust. Unfortunate as it were, that is one mistake I regret, and continue to suffer for my actions.




I really don't know if I will ever commission artists like I have in the past... my deepest apologies go to the trustworthy artists I have commissioned repeatedly who have always went above and beyond to deliver commissions I treasured. I might need to be reminded of the wonderful people I have worked with that can help me out of this slump. But for now, I need to overcome this tenacious obstacle I have created for myself.