Some already know this as of lately, but I haven't been feeling like myself lately. It might be this whole worldwide situation we all live in, it could be something else, could be a combination of things, I just don't know. I'm so stressed, and every time I'm distracted I feel like I'm a person again, but whenever I take a short break (doesn't matter from what), I just collapse inside.

Last few months I've been changing my perspective in life and making decisions as well. As an artist, I found that NSFW/explicit artwork that I make just doesn't feel good. I tried to get over it since I thought it was just getting out my comfort zone, but I got the feeling that I got pushed to draw it. Even whenever I tried to draw it all off my mind too, it felt like I was forced to draw something like that, like as if I was desperate or something. I joined 18+ servers/communities to not only understand my struggles but also finding a way to accept what I like and what I don't. And with how at least some people can act or just behave in a manner that I feel really uncomfortable about,... I've had many times where I could relate to some of those people too, like the feeling or frustration for certain things just feel awful. But then I realized that I was actually becoming quite desperate of what I want or need in my life. And with how many people all around the world has their needs, I don't feel it. And the same goes for any explicit art. The more I look at those kind of artworks, the more I observe to just show what's off or just not right at all. So I pretty much left all of that.

So with that, I've decided to just not observe any art and enjoy what's made. Sadly I never was really that impressed with any NSFW/explicit art in a way of what's going on, only impressed by how some artists can draw, like how proportions are correct, or even extreme shapes to the point it's unrealistic but still look like it could work... While it's impressive, I'm just not feeling it for the scenes. So with that in mind, I've put a filter on my results. It still hurts for me since there are artists who have the right balance for if they make any explicit art that it's not just about the scene, but since it's a big majority that I keep finding, instead of creating a personal "hate" on such art (which is what I want to avoid, no reason to actually hate that kind of art in my eyes), I just filter it out. I am sorry if I make any artist or follower here disappointed or mad, I'm not here to offend anyone. This is what I feel like that I have to do. And sure it sounds like I'm getting bit dramatic over my decisions for just looking (and/or making) art, but what is art if you just look at it and can't admire it?? You'll feel bad about yourself that way and it'd only make it worse if you don't do anything about it.

Even with all those weird decisions I've been making, again, do not see this as if I'm ignoring such stuff. If it gets shared and if I see it, sure, can't do anything about it. But my preferences seem to be just the safe art. I accept everyone who draws what they want or need to draw (or make, since "art" is a big term), you do you, do not change your way to art for someone for decisions like these. I accept as how and who everyone is. I hope you all can understand and that you all do the same back.

... Now with all that, I need to find a way to kill the time and to have fun again. We'll see what the future brings to us all. Hope everyone is all right and that you all are in a safe place. Enjoy life.